Published on 12, July, 2020
I have a difficulty in that I've been working in a school as a learning assistant. When I was just doing the two days on voluntary placement I managed, actually enjoyed the work. But now I've been employed full time at the school, which of course I'm grateful for, I get serious social fatigue. I can just about deal with the interactions moment by moment, lesson by lesson (though I'm very much like a person pushing a balloon under water to pretend it's not there). But now I can't deal with any more social interactions outside of work, like all my social energy is going into the priority of work, and I'm concerned that it's going to affect other personal relationships such as with my boyfriend, even my family even though I know they will be ok if I can't attend family stuff. It's getting to the point where I can't see how I can keep this up long term. I'm referred for the autistic diagnostic pathway but have no official diagnosis. At present I just socially burned out and struggle to be with other people because all my social - interactive energy has been used.
Can anyone relate to this? And if so how did you deal with this?
This is why I work online with no human interaction. I don't think I could cope with people for multiple hours a day. Even if I like them that level of contact is too exhausting. Depressing too, as it feels like my self switches off when I'm around people, so as soon as it's over I feel like I don't even exist. Childhood was incredibly stressful due to the lack of solitude and all my breakdowns have been triggered by too much social contact.
I think you have to treat social energy as a finite resource. If you spend it on work, you won't be able to spend it elsewhere, and vice versa.
Is part time or a different job an option?