Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with autism at 41 years old, just over 2 years ago and just before I had my son as a first time mum. The diagnosis has been very positive and a huge help in a lifetime of struggle. However having my son and covid has meant I have only more recently started to have headspace to try and process the diagnosis and find better strategies
There is loads I could talk about here but one of the hardest things for me is being a parent and I'm really interested to hear fro other parents with high functioning autism or aspergers on how you feel and manage
For me caring for another person who is so dependent on me is so hard. I love my son and I know I am a good parent to him but it takes everything out of me to put his needs first when really I only want to think about myself. I am constantly exhausted and think about about what my life was like when I didn't have this responsibility. Granted many parents feel this way but it's definitely worse because of my autism. My partner shares the same parenting fatigue but not the feelings about being oppressed and put upon and I have become depressed
What do other people do to cope?
Phew! Well, I raised a kid all alone without ever even realising I was autistic and I survived, as did my lovely son, if that's any help. Even if I did all too frequently burn his dinner 'cos I was too busy reading while it was in the oven, lol.
And yep, out of love I did it all, but I so recognise what you are feeling. It's hard when you are on the verge of burn out or dealing with the stressors that bounce off others yet have to function for your kid. You've got a partner in the frame there though. Talk. You need to negotiate some time for the special interests, R&R etc that will keep you going for all your sakes.
Good news is, they grow up in the end. Bless you. Good luck.