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Late diagnosis.

Campervanmad

Hi. I’m not very good at this. 
I was diagnosed last week in my late 50s and after going through a long process. I’m not sure what to do now. I’m confused and feel my life up until now has been an act. I am married and have been for 30 years. I have told 5 people only and so far they’ve not changed toward to me which is good but the closest ones have just said to carry on as “normal”. My GP is still waiting on the notes too so I’ve not had any offer of any support as of yet, if you get any that is. I can feel myself getting even more withdrawn than normal as I simply don’t mix at all. My husband is my friend and he is the only one I see daily. My head feels like it’s full of words swirling around but I can’t land in any to say how I feel. It’s like cotton wool. 
What do we do after diagnosis. I don’t work as it all got too much a few years ago. I also have fibro. Do I just carry on or what…I’m feeling very confused but the diagnosis also answers my difficulties too. Not sure this makes sense. 

Parents

  • Hi - I’m part way through the assessment process for Autism - and I’m also in my fifties. It is late to get a diagnosis isn’t it?! Although there are many who are older when they get the diagnosis too. I realised really when my youngest son was diagnosed when he was 11. It became so obvious that I was also autistic - and also my eldest son and husband (my husband has more ‘mild’ autistic traits).

    I relate to what you say - my only friends for the last few years have been my husband and children. I suppose it is unusual to many people, and I do worry about us being so isolated. I was very (physically) ill last year and it home to me then that we don’t have a support network really - we mainly just have each other. It made me realise how vulnerable we are - which was worrying. 
    I don’t think there is much support for adults after diagnosis - I don’t think that’s a ‘thing’. It is more a matter of accessing regular mental health services if you’re struggling, and local support groups. But really (as far as I can tell) not much changes on getting a diagnosis (if you’re an adult). 
    what help do you think you need? Is there a particular area of your life that you need support with? Is your partner very supportive? And (if you have children) are they supportive?

    I’m here for you if you want to chat. I think a lot of autistic women get a late diagnosis. Sending best wishes and solidarity:) 

Reply

  • Hi - I’m part way through the assessment process for Autism - and I’m also in my fifties. It is late to get a diagnosis isn’t it?! Although there are many who are older when they get the diagnosis too. I realised really when my youngest son was diagnosed when he was 11. It became so obvious that I was also autistic - and also my eldest son and husband (my husband has more ‘mild’ autistic traits).

    I relate to what you say - my only friends for the last few years have been my husband and children. I suppose it is unusual to many people, and I do worry about us being so isolated. I was very (physically) ill last year and it home to me then that we don’t have a support network really - we mainly just have each other. It made me realise how vulnerable we are - which was worrying. 
    I don’t think there is much support for adults after diagnosis - I don’t think that’s a ‘thing’. It is more a matter of accessing regular mental health services if you’re struggling, and local support groups. But really (as far as I can tell) not much changes on getting a diagnosis (if you’re an adult). 
    what help do you think you need? Is there a particular area of your life that you need support with? Is your partner very supportive? And (if you have children) are they supportive?

    I’m here for you if you want to chat. I think a lot of autistic women get a late diagnosis. Sending best wishes and solidarity:) 

Children
  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thanks Kate. I don’t think I need any help although I always say that. My husband is supportive mostly, family which is basically my son, not so much but he has his own family so I don’t expect anything from him. I do feel since I gave up work I’m becoming much more isolated so that’s maybe something to try and work towards although I am happy without company but it’s sometimes needed, if you see what I mean. I suppose I’ll eventually get my around my diagnosis. 

    Thank you for the offer of chats, it is appreciated.