Hi, I'm so sorry this is long, but please please even quickly skim through and see what you think.
I have always thought something was "a miss" with me and I never ever felt normal/right? (sorry if my descriptions don't make sense in this post9, they do in my head haha).
I have had a lot of training on autism as I have worked with adults with learning disabilities and I'm now a care assessor for reablement but I know just how different autism is, and some people I meet who I feel a "connection" to and clicked, it turns out they have autism and everything they describe is exactly how I am.
I don't cope well in social situations, I don't like people (founds funny considering I've worked in care 7 years), I seem to obsess over things and have new fascination and interests every couple weeks. I either go in full throttle or I won't want to bother.
Noises... Where do I even begin. So many things irritate me quickly, I can be fine one minute and say someone's washing machine is on, it like sends me into a mood? Loud noises, they make me want to cry.. But if its loud music I've chosen to put on I'm fine with it. I can't explain it. No matter what I do to try and snap out of these moods nothing works unless I'm in my bedroom out the way in silence.
I can't read people's body language, if someone's having a quiet day I take it as I've done something wrong and they hate me. I can't follow vague instructions, unless someone tells me how to do something properly, I haven't got a clue and have to wing it. If I'm not given clear instructions my brain and anxiety go into overdrive. I'd like to think I'm, well not brainy, but I've got common sense and knowledge, but if I'm bad at something, I've got no hope. I've failed gcse maths 6 times.... 6. Times. At. 25.
I get overwhelmed so quickly and easily. Sensory overload is just next level. If I'm driving and the sky's a bit bright. Bam, bad mood, headache, eyes get achy. In a shop and they shout over the tanoy? Bad mood. Irritated. Frustrated. Anxious.
Honestly I could go on and on and on. What I want to know is, is it worth getting an autism diagnosis at my age please? I work full time, I can function without someones guidance etc, I've lived on my own before and I'm moving out again next month. But it's the personal aspect of it. All my life I've sobbed and wanted to die because I thought there was something seriously wrong with me and the way my brain works, but I genuinely hand on heart think I've got Autism. Is there a lot of support out there in Lincolnshire? I've got bad depression and anxiety on top so my heads just a shed.
Thank you so much if you read this xx
