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Is it worth getting an autism diagnosis as a 25yr old woman?

NAS79565

Hi, I'm so sorry this is long, but please please even quickly skim through and see what you think. 

I have always thought something was "a miss" with me and I never ever felt normal/right? (sorry if my descriptions don't make sense in this post9, they do in my head haha).Joy

I have had a lot of training on autism as I have worked with adults with learning disabilities and I'm now a care assessor for reablement but I know just how different autism is, and some people I meet who I feel a "connection" to and clicked, it turns out they have autism and everything they describe is exactly how I am.

I don't cope well in social situations, I don't like people (founds funny considering I've worked in care 7 years), I seem to obsess over things and have new fascination and interests every couple weeks. I either go in full throttle or I won't want to bother.

Noises... Where do I even begin. So many things irritate me quickly, I can be fine one minute and say someone's washing machine is on, it like sends me into a mood? Loud noises, they make me want to cry.. But if its loud music I've chosen to put on I'm fine with it. I can't explain it. No matter what I do to try and snap out of these moods nothing works unless I'm in my bedroom out the way in silence.

I can't read people's body language, if someone's having a quiet day I take it as I've done something wrong and they hate me. I can't follow vague instructions, unless someone tells me how to do something properly, I haven't got a clue and have to wing it. If I'm not given clear instructions my brain and anxiety go into overdrive. I'd like to think I'm, well not brainy, but I've got common sense and knowledge, but if I'm bad at something, I've got no hope. I've failed gcse maths 6 times.... 6. Times. At. 25.

I get overwhelmed so quickly and easily. Sensory overload is just next level. If I'm driving and the sky's a bit bright. Bam, bad mood, headache, eyes get achy. In a shop and they shout over the tanoy? Bad mood. Irritated. Frustrated. Anxious. 

Honestly I could go on and on and on. What I want to know is, is it worth getting an autism diagnosis at my age please? I work full time, I can function without someones guidance etc, I've lived on my own before and I'm moving out again next month. But it's the personal aspect of it. All my life I've sobbed and wanted to die because I thought there was something seriously wrong with me and the way my brain works, but I genuinely hand on heart think I've got Autism. Is there a lot of support out there in Lincolnshire? I've got bad depression and anxiety on top so my heads just a shed. 

Thank you so much if you read this xx

  • I say go for it. What have you got to lose?

    I am a 58 year old man and over the weekend I completed the AQ50 questionnaire (four times, including one with input from my wife) and no matter how I tried to minimise it, the lowest score I managed to get was 31. My high score was 41. (Does that mean I am good at being ASD?)

    This morning I had a telephone appointment with my GP who is now referring me for an official assessment. Scary! I got off the phone and cried (not sure why - I also have Alexithymia, according to a different online test, which means I have issues with understanding / interpreting/ communicating emotions or some such. Yikes). 

    The bad news? An 18 month waiting list on the NHS.

    To get to the point, and the reason I started this reply; there are some good books out there on body language. I read one by Allan Pease probably a couple of decades ago which helped me enormously, sparked by a conversation with my wife when I told her about an issue at work. The conversation went: “He said this….., and she said that……, one of them must be lying, but how do I tell?” My wife (with a total lack of understanding) asked, “what do you mean, “how do I tell?” , surely it’s obvious.” And hence the need for some research and the book.

    I had a similar situation, research and outcome when someone mentioned the dreaded “eye contact” although that was even further in the past,  and I cannot remember a specific book or author.

    I hope this helps a bit.

    One last thought before I go. If you need something for stimming, I recommend a fidget cube, an awesome piece of kit if you need that, and not expensive.

    take care

    W 

  • in reply to Roy

    No, you venting is absolutely fine. I didn't get diagnosed until i was in my 20's and i spent six years in limbo waiting for a diagnosis to explain why i struggle with social situations and what i know to be my autism and ADHD related behaviour.  

  • in reply to Blue

    Thanks for such a clear answer, I’m on the waiting list at the moment, I feel imposter syndrome a lot. I see some autistic people who have much higher needs than me and live in supported homes, I then feel guilty that I can’t be autistic. I’m not like them, some days I’m practically unable to dress myself and need a lot of support, I luckily have a wife who is understanding. If a diagnosis had been available 25 years ago and the support that there is today, I would have gone straight for it and not lived in limbo for so long. I know a diagnosis isn’t a cure but it will bring validation, I seem to only work by logic, with so much of autism not logical, I really struggle at the moment, I’ve only told about 6 people of my autism, 4 replies were ‘I thought you was’. Why has it taken me 50 plus years to see it? Sorry I’m info dumping now, but thanks for reassuring me with your above reply.

  • Yes! Definitely! 

    The formal diagnosis will identify you as one of us, which will be important when the autistic uprising occurs. 

    But seriously here a just some of the pros and cons.

    Pro's Con's
    A formal diagnosis could help you attain certain support if needed employers may disregard you because of your diagnosis
    A formal diagnosis could help you attain certain benefits such as PIP or access the universal credit limit capability group
    It can provide enough evidence that may lead to educational adaption's 
    It can provide enough evidence to get assistance with reasonable adaptions in the workplace
    The physical evidence of formal diagnosis can help combat the feeling of imposter syndrome
    A formal Diagnosis can prevent you from being unfairly sectioned or detained
    A formal diagnosis can help with access to autism appropriate mental health treatment 
    It can help you explain yourself and the way you think

     

     

  • i was diagnose 2 days ago and iam 36 it was the best thing i ever did but you have to do what right for you hun x

  • Yes! Definitely! 

    I have struggled in work and social settings for years. Always apologising for being me and the way I think and function. Quitting jobs when I am mentally exhausted.  I have just been diagnosed (53 years old).  I belive adjustments in work and social settings would have made life easier and much less distressing.

    Hang in there J.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Yes - me too Dawn - I wish I’d found out much earlier too. Apart from anything else I would have realised my son was autistic much sooner - which would have been helpful to him (and to me).

    obviously it’s a personal choice but if I were you I would go ahead and get a proper diagnosis. That way you’ll have clarity and one day it might be helpful to you if you need reasonable adjustments when you are accessing services of some kind  (eg healthcare or something). 

  • It's an individual decision, but Hell, I wish I'd found out at 25 not 56. So much could have been so much better, and I could have been better understood.

    No, there's not a lot of support out there, but the personal journey into yourself is massively liberating. Being different is ok.

  • I think it is a very personal thing but I'm a little older than you and persuaded a diagnosis as I have always felt different and wrong and weird and I'm pleased I have the name for it now. I function well most of the time like you do but I mask a lot and pretend so having a name is helping me begin to think about being kinder to myself. 

    You have to do what is right for you. I will say wait lists are long so you could always get a referral and then go from there.