• Replies 30 replies
  • Subscribers 97 subscribers
  • Views 11254 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Keeping the house tidy

lestrange

Hello everyone, 

I am 23, recently diagnosed with ASD and on the lengthy list for an ADHD assessment too. My whole life I have struggled with tidying and cleaning but recently it has really been getting to me. In my teen years when I first had my own place I feel like it was deemed acceptable to have a messy flat, because that's just 'being a teenager' but as I've got older I have started noticing peoples negative reactions more. 

I live alone and allow my flat to get so cluttered and filthy it is probably deemed a health hazard. I have tried so many things to try and stay on top of it all such as making lists, just doing one small thing at a time, I've even got to the point before where I have binned all my plates and cutlery and just started again with only one plate so I HAVE to clean it. This whole situation is really affecting my mental health as I am reluctant to invite people over in fear of what they'll say, I don't eat a good diet because cooking means washing up, the environment is overwhelming and stressful because of all the mess. I really want to be able to keep a tidy house, my brain just doesn't allow me. So far the only thing that gets me to clean is when the landlady sends someone over to service the boiler or a guy comes over for a bit of fun, but even then I only do the rooms that they will be in, and not to a great standard. Unfortunately I cannot afford to hire a cleaner, so I wondered if any of you have any better suggestions? Or at least similar stories so I feel less alone and ashamed. 

Parents

  • Don't be ashamed, it's a lot of work to keep things organised and it takes some figuring out to see what works for you! I actually love it when things are clean and organised- it makes me feel calm and is good for my mental health, but I am also messy/ chaotic at the same time and I have in the past ended up having a huge mess. I have realised that one of the main issues is that I have a very low tolerance for dirt and disgustingness, which makes me not want to deal with it once things do get messy/dirty or disgusting. I also have a big capacity to shut out chaos and mess as I grew up in my stepfather's house which was packed with stuff as he is a hoarder (there was often nowhere to sit, magazine piles everywhere, whole rooms filled with boxes and stuff...). 

    However I have figured out that the solution for me is to never let things get messy/dirty at all, as if I do let it get that way I will really struggle to deal with it. So for example, I usually wash up either while cooking already, sometimes before eating or straight afterwards. I wipe down everything straight away after cooking. I try to washup my mugs in the evening (don't manage that one always but much better than in past when I often had 5 old mugs on my desk.). Basically I try to clean anything that I see straight away if possible. A lot of this has now become so natural to me that some of these things are now almost effortless. I think trying to build up routines is very helpful too and figuring out why you are struggling to keep things clean/organised (eg. is it because you forget? because you hate dealing with it? because things get too dirty? etc). 

    I actually doing very well with cleaning things and organising things at the moment. I still don't like cleaning but I do really like the end result and when things are not very dirty to begin with, it is actually not that bad to clean and almost relaxing. I never thought I would say that, so I am confident that you will figure out what works for you! (This is coming from the person whose room during exam term at some point was so messy that when a friend saw it she was so impressed by the messiness of it that she wanted to take a picture as she found it hard to believe..., you will figure it out :)!) 

Reply

  • Don't be ashamed, it's a lot of work to keep things organised and it takes some figuring out to see what works for you! I actually love it when things are clean and organised- it makes me feel calm and is good for my mental health, but I am also messy/ chaotic at the same time and I have in the past ended up having a huge mess. I have realised that one of the main issues is that I have a very low tolerance for dirt and disgustingness, which makes me not want to deal with it once things do get messy/dirty or disgusting. I also have a big capacity to shut out chaos and mess as I grew up in my stepfather's house which was packed with stuff as he is a hoarder (there was often nowhere to sit, magazine piles everywhere, whole rooms filled with boxes and stuff...). 

    However I have figured out that the solution for me is to never let things get messy/dirty at all, as if I do let it get that way I will really struggle to deal with it. So for example, I usually wash up either while cooking already, sometimes before eating or straight afterwards. I wipe down everything straight away after cooking. I try to washup my mugs in the evening (don't manage that one always but much better than in past when I often had 5 old mugs on my desk.). Basically I try to clean anything that I see straight away if possible. A lot of this has now become so natural to me that some of these things are now almost effortless. I think trying to build up routines is very helpful too and figuring out why you are struggling to keep things clean/organised (eg. is it because you forget? because you hate dealing with it? because things get too dirty? etc). 

    I actually doing very well with cleaning things and organising things at the moment. I still don't like cleaning but I do really like the end result and when things are not very dirty to begin with, it is actually not that bad to clean and almost relaxing. I never thought I would say that, so I am confident that you will figure out what works for you! (This is coming from the person whose room during exam term at some point was so messy that when a friend saw it she was so impressed by the messiness of it that she wanted to take a picture as she found it hard to believe..., you will figure it out :)!) 

Children
No Data