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Keeping the house tidy

lestrange

Hello everyone, 

I am 23, recently diagnosed with ASD and on the lengthy list for an ADHD assessment too. My whole life I have struggled with tidying and cleaning but recently it has really been getting to me. In my teen years when I first had my own place I feel like it was deemed acceptable to have a messy flat, because that's just 'being a teenager' but as I've got older I have started noticing peoples negative reactions more. 

I live alone and allow my flat to get so cluttered and filthy it is probably deemed a health hazard. I have tried so many things to try and stay on top of it all such as making lists, just doing one small thing at a time, I've even got to the point before where I have binned all my plates and cutlery and just started again with only one plate so I HAVE to clean it. This whole situation is really affecting my mental health as I am reluctant to invite people over in fear of what they'll say, I don't eat a good diet because cooking means washing up, the environment is overwhelming and stressful because of all the mess. I really want to be able to keep a tidy house, my brain just doesn't allow me. So far the only thing that gets me to clean is when the landlady sends someone over to service the boiler or a guy comes over for a bit of fun, but even then I only do the rooms that they will be in, and not to a great standard. Unfortunately I cannot afford to hire a cleaner, so I wondered if any of you have any better suggestions? Or at least similar stories so I feel less alone and ashamed. 

Parents

  • Having autism can make a challenge to keep a home clean and tidy, and if you have ADHD then probably harder still.

    If you can't afford a cleaner then do you know anyone that might be able to help?

    Poor executive functioning can make it difficult to do what needs doing, and so can being in your own world and not aware.  If you have ADHD then that would probably make it more difficult.  Procrastination is also likely, you might think about doing something but then put it off until later but then not actually do it later.

    I have always had difficulties when living alone as I tend to be stuck in my head and don't have someone to remind me.   I rented my first flat when 21 and it was small and quickly became cluttered, I just didn't have the thoughts needed to keep it clean and tidy.  The day I moved out was a nightmare because I had to sort my things from rubbish, load the car, and then clean - but I ran out of time and had to ask the letting agent for more time, embarrassing.  

    Its still a challenge now, I just try and do things as I think about them, otherwise I forget or lose awareness.

    It can help to have a planner to remind you, but then you can forget about the planner so it won't always help.

  • in reply to Autimator

    Hello, 

    I understand that housework can be overwhelming at times but I find better to have set house work days. That way, I can do it all and keep on top of it and not let it get to the point where it gets too much. Today I damp wiped all surfaces and cleaned the kitchen. If I make a mess, then I clean it up straight away. I regard cleaning as therapy, no really, I do. It allows me to switch off and daydream.       

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  • in reply to Autimator

    Hello, 

    I understand that housework can be overwhelming at times but I find better to have set house work days. That way, I can do it all and keep on top of it and not let it get to the point where it gets too much. Today I damp wiped all surfaces and cleaned the kitchen. If I make a mess, then I clean it up straight away. I regard cleaning as therapy, no really, I do. It allows me to switch off and daydream.       

Children
  • in reply to LucyLandRover

    I love this. I used to do this when I l lived in a 400-500sq ft apt. Since moving into this house 6yrs ago, it's 1,152 and impossible to keep all clean at the same time. My mom says it doesn't all have to be clean at once--but that's my preferred, so that as time goes on, it all gets dirty around the same time. I sometimes think it'd be best to sell the house & move into a 519 sq ft apt again. My husband is also neurodivergent & has trouble with all the yardwork. I've gotten out there a few times...but if you add that to my inside housework--I just GiVE UP & do the bare min lol. The only thing I've found that seems to be slightly helping...is taking a realistic look at how long everything takes. I cannot clean on a reg day when I spend 1hr doing dishes/cleaning kitchen & 1-2 loads of laundry. So, I've asked my partner to do those things on that day. If I have to clean the bathroom---I give that an entire day. I really hate cleaning....I'm good at it, but I'm a perfectionist & OCD---so usually if I'm cleaning something that day...I also have to take a shower as well. OK--rant over. I relate alot to this post---seriously.