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Keeping the house tidy

lestrange

Hello everyone, 

I am 23, recently diagnosed with ASD and on the lengthy list for an ADHD assessment too. My whole life I have struggled with tidying and cleaning but recently it has really been getting to me. In my teen years when I first had my own place I feel like it was deemed acceptable to have a messy flat, because that's just 'being a teenager' but as I've got older I have started noticing peoples negative reactions more. 

I live alone and allow my flat to get so cluttered and filthy it is probably deemed a health hazard. I have tried so many things to try and stay on top of it all such as making lists, just doing one small thing at a time, I've even got to the point before where I have binned all my plates and cutlery and just started again with only one plate so I HAVE to clean it. This whole situation is really affecting my mental health as I am reluctant to invite people over in fear of what they'll say, I don't eat a good diet because cooking means washing up, the environment is overwhelming and stressful because of all the mess. I really want to be able to keep a tidy house, my brain just doesn't allow me. So far the only thing that gets me to clean is when the landlady sends someone over to service the boiler or a guy comes over for a bit of fun, but even then I only do the rooms that they will be in, and not to a great standard. Unfortunately I cannot afford to hire a cleaner, so I wondered if any of you have any better suggestions? Or at least similar stories so I feel less alone and ashamed. 

Parents

  • I can share from my experience of how i have managed to keep my flat clean as someone with both ADHD and Autism. here are a few tips i have learned. these will only work if you live alone

    [ONE]

    Stop creating spaces that don't work for you. Create spaces that work with your neurology. You may not be able to renovate your kitchen being a tenant but if you can add hooks, open shelving to create prompts. For example i have a hook with my broom hanging in my kitchen to clean the floor, it visually will prompt me to use it and it's in the location i need to use it .Having a broom in another location or cupboard will deter me from using it because it create more unnecessary steps and ill over think it and it will demotivate me. 

    [TWO]

    Only have a certain amount of plates, cups and dishware. this will force you into washing up regularly. Make sure if your doing this you also invest in refillable water bottles as you going to have episodes where you'll avoid washing up and avoid drinking. I limit myself to four of Cups, Four Glasses, Four plates two water bottles and this number seems to work for me. 

    [THREE] 

    Timers are a great resource, I have set up a smart system that utilizes both smart tv's and smart speakers but most people don't have the technical know how to do that. So what i suggest is setting alarms on your phone for a ten minute tidy up. For example i have an alarm that goes of an hour after a wake up and a following alarm set for ten minutes after that alarm. In that ten minute span i will quickly tidy the room i am in. I also have a similar alarm set an hour before bed where i do the same thing.

    If you do this i recommend get baskets so when you do the ten minute tidy up and you have stuff to go in other rooms that you put stuff that needs to go in other rooms in the baskets instead of leaving the room you will get distracted.

    [FOUR]

    With food, comes mess, i have learnt to cook something once like a Bolognese and freezing the additional portions in disposable or reusable containers reduces mess. You can often buy microwave rice, pasta and heat them in the microwave. I have learnt that theirs are days where i don't have the energy to do the bare minimum so i have tesco meal replacement shakes on hand pre made or in sachet and make the in a shaker bottle which can be rinse out in seconds with very little fuss to prevent me from the woser junk food. 

    [FIVE]

    Listen to music. attempting to clean a bathroom without any music is hell.

Reply

  • I can share from my experience of how i have managed to keep my flat clean as someone with both ADHD and Autism. here are a few tips i have learned. these will only work if you live alone

    [ONE]

    Stop creating spaces that don't work for you. Create spaces that work with your neurology. You may not be able to renovate your kitchen being a tenant but if you can add hooks, open shelving to create prompts. For example i have a hook with my broom hanging in my kitchen to clean the floor, it visually will prompt me to use it and it's in the location i need to use it .Having a broom in another location or cupboard will deter me from using it because it create more unnecessary steps and ill over think it and it will demotivate me. 

    [TWO]

    Only have a certain amount of plates, cups and dishware. this will force you into washing up regularly. Make sure if your doing this you also invest in refillable water bottles as you going to have episodes where you'll avoid washing up and avoid drinking. I limit myself to four of Cups, Four Glasses, Four plates two water bottles and this number seems to work for me. 

    [THREE] 

    Timers are a great resource, I have set up a smart system that utilizes both smart tv's and smart speakers but most people don't have the technical know how to do that. So what i suggest is setting alarms on your phone for a ten minute tidy up. For example i have an alarm that goes of an hour after a wake up and a following alarm set for ten minutes after that alarm. In that ten minute span i will quickly tidy the room i am in. I also have a similar alarm set an hour before bed where i do the same thing.

    If you do this i recommend get baskets so when you do the ten minute tidy up and you have stuff to go in other rooms that you put stuff that needs to go in other rooms in the baskets instead of leaving the room you will get distracted.

    [FOUR]

    With food, comes mess, i have learnt to cook something once like a Bolognese and freezing the additional portions in disposable or reusable containers reduces mess. You can often buy microwave rice, pasta and heat them in the microwave. I have learnt that theirs are days where i don't have the energy to do the bare minimum so i have tesco meal replacement shakes on hand pre made or in sachet and make the in a shaker bottle which can be rinse out in seconds with very little fuss to prevent me from the woser junk food. 

    [FIVE]

    Listen to music. attempting to clean a bathroom without any music is hell.

Children
  • in reply to Blue

    Thank you this is so helpful. I am constantly firefighting with a messy house and garden, it doesn't help that all 4 of us in the house have ASD and ADHD (mum dad, 2 adult kids), but I am the only one who seems to care (although I am messy, my mental health and ability to function is strongly correlated - more mess more stress!).

    I can really relate to the broom situation; I work on visual prompts, so if something isn't immediately to hand, all the steps to get it demotivates. 

  • in reply to Blue

    This is incredibly helpful thankyou so much! A few of these things I do already however the bottled water is something I'd never thought of. I like the idea of a quick tidy up in the morning, I shall try that at the weekends when I dont have early starts at work. Reading this it seems like we're quite similar so hopefully these approaches will work, thankyou for taking the time to write it all! I am certain I am not the only person that will benefit from this.