Universal Credit

"Many people at the word ""credit"" immediately imagine interest payments, overpayments, etc. I used to be skeptical about it until I figured it all out. I used Mortgage Advice Hull because I had often been recommended to this broker. The specialists here matched the program to my capabilities, and they, unfortunately, are not the best. To be more precise, it was a universal loan. Simply put, it's a universal help for citizens. Such a benefit was designed to reduce red tape when applying for social assistance from the state. The universal credit benefit is paid only in our country (Great Britain), and there is no need to pay back the money to the state."

Well done for taking positive action , 

I agree money and debt is a very stressful thing and should be sorted out when you feel you able too ,
Starting the process can be stressful, but once stepchange gave me the information I found it easier to deal with.
I would only recommend stepchange as they are a non profit government funded charity and will take no money of you for the service, There maybe others but you should not have to pay any administration fee for the service, Only the setup cost of a DRO if you go down that route, which is £90.
 
JP has a special place in my timeline of getting diagnosed, In 2017 after my mother passed she left a little money and I used it to pay for an hour session with JP.
In the session after about 5 minuets he asked "have I been diagnosed with any mental health conditions", and recommended that I should if not.
From that I came to the NAS site for some guidance and finally the GP for referral.
The report that Jorden gave me is so accurate I will never doubt his credentials and ability to see what people cannot see in themselves. I showed the report to my cbt councillor during a very low point just after getting diagnosed, and the sessions went from talking to just meditating and learning to slow my thoughts down.

I think so many autistic people take a long time to find their stride and real their full potential. They are often ‘late developers’. I think the problem starts with the fact that school is often difficult in all sorts of ways for autistic people - so they get off to a difficult start, and that can ruin our confidence. And if school doesn’t go well that often impacts on work further on. I know of many autistic people who are working in jobs that are well below their intelligence level - I think this is very common. Finding autism friendly professions is a real challenge. My eldest did really well at school and went to Oxford Uni - but he’s still found finding paid work that he can be ok with (or to be honest bear) has been really difficult for him. My youngest is not so able academically and more ‘noticeably’ autistic and I think he’s going to find it really challenging in the workplace. Also of course there are all the other life skills that are impacted by autism - my youngest finds it hard to understand finances etc. and the ‘value’ of money etc. I feel there’s a real gap in terms of support for adults with autism - there’s support for autistic people with more ‘severe’ (for want of a better word) autism - but not for those who are more able but still struggling. We need change. We need a more nurturing and supportive society overall. 

I see. I think it’s really important for you to be sure that there is an actual diagnosis of autism. If there isn’t you can request your GP  to refer you for an assessment, though there’s a huge waiting list of course. It’s the same for therapy too (I’m on a waiting list myself for therapy for anxiety). Services are in a poor state of course - due to underfunding. There’s lots of great advice and support on here though I find - better than in most places - certainly better than most services provided by the Government! If you can try to do what you can to nurture yourself, and be kind to yourself. Try to get out of the house to somewhere you enjoy being - that is free. Maybe exercise? Walking? Cooking healthy, nurturing meals from scratch?  
I think you will soon make progress as you seem to have very good awareness of your situation and what your challenges are. You’re bound to sometimes feel overwhelmed - the debt situation alone would be stressful for anyone. But there are definitely solutions to that (as other people have suggested) so it’s only a matter of time until you can get that back under control and eventually completely resolved in time. When the stress of that has eased you’ll feel so much better and more equipped to get things back on track. You’ll get there eventually! Good luck! 

I think I'd definitely relate and yes I think I'd actually find out a lot with myself in that sort of role. Of course there are many different roles I could work in the education system so it's just working out where I'd fit exactly.

I also have a lot of work to do with improving my maths and english to C standard and getting the necessary qualifications. I've wasted pretty much all my 20s coasting with no plan or ideas or being afraid to explore opportunities I might actually enjoy but have felt, 'I can't do that because of Autism and how I am'. I always have a negative mindset! 

I have to find methods of controlling my anxiety and managing stress better. Like another poster said. Perhaps dealing with debt first is the best idea and try to move on from there. Slowly but in the right direction.

You articulate all this brilliantly - I think you’d make a great teaching assistant. I’ve met many over the years and many are not as articulate as you are on here. Sounds like a great idea - and you’d be great at supporting autistic children in class too as you have such a good understanding of their needs.

You’re making great progress at tackling this and turning it around. You sound more positive - it’s good that you’re able to see some positives and focus on those. Social isolation is such an difficult thing to cope with. My son was like this in college (he’s temporarily left because of this) - to be in a place full of people but always isolated on your own is emotionally so upsetting and draining, and damages self esteem. I wish people were kinder and try to gently involve and include people who are so obviously isolated and lonely. 

Yes that's what I'm told. Diagnosed at 14. Now 30.

Milder on the spectrum supposedly.

I've never seen this diagnoses stated in plain language on paper, mind you, but just got told by my Mum I think and if I recall, went with it since. I query her still occasionally.. "you think I really am autistic?" .. "yes you are".

I'm going to query NHS to request my medical history/records to see what exactly that shows. Hopefully it gives idea of what the diagnoses actually is. If I'm diagnosed with autism and specifically 'mild' autism then it should show that.

I think I need counseling to be honest. I know I need to work out my issues and myself. It's not pretty at the moment.

Hi Mat, I’m the mother of two autistic adults and I’m sure your Mother doesn’t view you as a ‘burden’! The vast majority of Mothers love their children more than anything in the world - so please don’t think that she thinks about you in that way. That love doesn’t diminish when our children become adults. If you open up to her I’m sure she’ll be 100% there for you in any way she can. I understand though that you need much more than that - you want a ‘normal’ life and to be able to function in the world and be happy. My son’s are both autistic - one has left Uni and tried 3 workplaces so far and struggled in all of them due to issues relating to autism. The workplace is very difficult for so many autistic people - even if they are very academically able. It’s tough - be forgiving of yourself for that. I dread my youngest son having to tackle finding paid work as I know it will be a huge struggle for him. There’s not enough support for autistic people  - there should be more. Don’t blame yourself for the fact that your are struggling - it’s not your fault. You’re obviously doing your best - no one can do more. I would talk to your GP and optician to see if you can get any help form them. And the other suggestions on this thread seem good. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down - my youngest is feeling this way too. You’re not alone - most people on here can relate to much of what you are saying, take care, and good luck. 

I’m so sorry Mat. I’m not surprised you are struggling. Be kind to yourself - you are doing your best. Do you have an autism diagnosis? 

‘their targets of sanctioning individuals’ - isn’t that horrendous? What a horrible system.

This sounds like great advice Blue. I hope it helps you Mat. I think you need to do everything you can to get some breathing space from all the pressure that is on you. 

The system is cruel - and it’s terrible for people with autism and/or mental health problems. The thought of my son being in the clutches of the job centre terrifies me - which is why I’m encouraging him to stay in education for as long as I can (although he’s finding that hugely difficult too). 

Hi Mat - have you spoken to your GP about your health issues? And have you been to an optician about your eyesight? And if so what did they say? I think they are the place to start to try and get some clarity on what is happening to you. I’m so sorry that you are feeling like this. I am experiencing very bad anxiety at the moment and severe anxiety can produce some of the symptoms you are experiencing (and you are undoubtedly experiencing severe stress and anxiety, I would talk to your GP if you feel able to. Have you got good support from family to help you with this? 

You have to prioritise and not procrastinate.  I know it's daunting, I have a similar experience.

What is the most important thing right now?  The debt obviously.  You can't start those other things with that stress hanging over you (or if you do start those other things you will only be able to give it half of your attention).  Talk to Step Change and CAB about the debts, things can be done such as delaying payments, moving them to a cheaper place, spreading them out or even writing them off.

Then, build yourself a new routine with lots of time sitting in the park with a notebook thinking about your future and how to rebuild it.  Go to historical places nearby you enjoy if you are able.  Clear your head.  JP has some OK lessons, I think, but most of it is just bible theories reformed and a lot is just him trying to sell his books.

I know. Its just getting moving. I put my head in sand way too much. I feel also I'm juggling so many balls with debt and worrying about future and changing job.

One thing is I'm done with warehousing full time. Being I have to earn money I'll obviously have to make sure I'm working in some way in the longer term. I'm actually seriously thinking of going into school teaching/assistant. I might be crazy but I actually enjoy various aspects of learning and I love history, science and IT.

It's super early days and I've a long road ahead but I'm going to explore options and look at adult college courses I can do. I've wasted enough years and I'm not getting any younger and can't let autism rule me like I sometimes seem to do. I'll just say it. It's pathetic. And I am definitely not incapable of achieving a great deal. Just this rut I've allowed myself to fall into recently. As they say, fail, try again, fail. I've most become afraid to fail. I'm sort of sabotaging my future by being resentful and being embarrassed and ashamed of my past. Being jealous of seeing people around me moving on and achieving things. It's really tough. That's the problem. Comparing myself to others. I know this is silly. 

Might as well just go for it as I can only go up from here. The debt like you say is a big issue and I think is a big reason I'm struggling. It weighs on the mind even though you you hard to bury it away. 

Jordon Peterson YouTube videos are also giving me a little positive push right now.

Thanks for advice to everyone here

I have now asked for a full disclosure of my NHS medical records today through email so hopefully they get back to me on Tuesday.

I've never actually seen my actual medical records so that'll be interesting.

Pretty sure the autism diagnoses would be there and my Mum wouldn't lie or be misinformed about that of course. Myself I've never seen an actual physical piece of paper stating I have Autism. I was told at 14 and that was that since then. 

I found out about a biological Dad who I didn't even knew existed at around 12/13 through a mis placed piece of paper regarding biological dads payment information to her.

But can't imagine she'd pull a bigger mistruth on me

I obviously remember the assessments I went to for the diagnoses/assessment in retrospect. I'm not sure I was aware I was being assessed for autism at the time to be honest. I remember the last day I saw a guy/doctor who I felt uneasy about and who took some sort of disliking to me and me him. Going off track now though. Best just to wait and see actual documents.

Awesome the DWP will now be aware of your situation, the journal is a handy tool to put things on you need them to know, but cant explain when at the review as the mask slips on and we all start to nod . Ask them about courses they offer that interest you
It has been said on this forum a lot but GO easy on yourself & tackle one thing at a time , Hard to do I know but it is probably the best advice I have been given from other people on this forum.

  Last year I wanted to boost my confidence so applied at the local collage to undertake maths level 2 FS and an Autism awareness course at level2 , Both have been great as It has been my doing and not from a 3rd party , It has not been easy being a 50 something in a collage full of teens but I have my routes and just wear big black sunglasses and earphones.

Did your mum get a report from the NHS when you were diagnosed as this is what the DWP will need , If not your medical records should have history of diagnosis.

Talk to Step Change about the debt, or your local CAB.  They are there for that and there are other options (I know from experience).  It's still a mess but less of a mess than you think right now.

haha 

MatBurns91 said:

Going in circles

I call it 

walking in a new la manche canal in a middle of my room to pay a visit to a neighbour <-- joke

about true need,

pacing make it easier to endure anxiety

MatBurns91 said:

some annoying auto-correction with my phone.

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