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Advice / Books for Expectant Father with ASD

NAS78650

Hi everyone,

How are you doing?

We just found out that my wife is pregnant and are very happy about this. This would be our first child! 

I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last year. It's been a really difficult period for us and I am currently signed off work sick as I develop better strategies for being autistic in a non-autistic world. 

Does anyone have any advice for an expectant father / parent with ASD or any books you would recommend? I guess I am most worried about letting my wife down or saying / doing something inappropriate. 

Thanks,

J

Parents

  • Hi J, I understand how you are feeling. I am a father with ASD. I had my son before I found out I was ASD, I found out when he was about 11 months old. He is now 2 and a half and me and my wife have another baby on the way which is wonderful but terrifying!
    I struggled terribly with becoming a father. Even though I didn't know I had ASD I knew I had something, if that makes sense, and I was so scared about not being good enough to look after my kid. I still worry myself sick about that now.

    What I would say to you first of all is, trust yourself. You are way better than you think you are. We live in a world that makes us autistic people think we are incabable but we are not, we are just as strong and capable as anyone else. Actually, we are stronger because we have to deal with a world that is not designed for us. Everyone else is living in a world designed for them so it's easier for them. The fact that you are sitting here worried about being a good dad shows that you will be because you care. Just trust your instincts and it will be ok.

    Also, don't try to be the perfect parent. I tried to be the perfect parent when my son was born and it did no good. Just be yourself and thats what your child will love

Reply

  • Hi J, I understand how you are feeling. I am a father with ASD. I had my son before I found out I was ASD, I found out when he was about 11 months old. He is now 2 and a half and me and my wife have another baby on the way which is wonderful but terrifying!
    I struggled terribly with becoming a father. Even though I didn't know I had ASD I knew I had something, if that makes sense, and I was so scared about not being good enough to look after my kid. I still worry myself sick about that now.

    What I would say to you first of all is, trust yourself. You are way better than you think you are. We live in a world that makes us autistic people think we are incabable but we are not, we are just as strong and capable as anyone else. Actually, we are stronger because we have to deal with a world that is not designed for us. Everyone else is living in a world designed for them so it's easier for them. The fact that you are sitting here worried about being a good dad shows that you will be because you care. Just trust your instincts and it will be ok.

    Also, don't try to be the perfect parent. I tried to be the perfect parent when my son was born and it did no good. Just be yourself and thats what your child will love

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