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Social Skills

ScienceTony

Hi,

I have noticed people calling each other 'darling' or 'lovey' at work.  This is always a risky think to do as it is not a sign of acceptance.  I have noticed that some people see this as a sign of acceptance, but it is, in fact, a sign of affection. 

This type of affection is shown to to romantic partners and children because they tend to need it.  You wouldn't call someone at work 'darling' unless you had little understanding of the meaning.  This is how people can get into trouble at work.  Some people with ASD copy the behaviours of others. They then see others calling each other 'darling' or 'babe' and then they copy.  However, without knowing the social context, this can be very risky in that it is likely to cause offence in others.  The safest thing thing to do is to call people by their name.

Do you find social situations difficult?  If so, what part of it do you find difficult?

Parents

  • On a few occasions now I’ve gone into restaurants or bars with my wife and been met with, “ hi you guys, what can I get you?” The first couple of times we both turned around as we thought someone else was standing behind us. My usual comment is, “let’s start with sir and madam, we will work it out from there”. I don’t see my wife as a guy.

  • in reply to Roy

    I suppose 'guys' is one of those gender-neutral ones these days, as we've assimilated a lot of American conventions into our speech. Often, entirely female groups would be addressed that way even - as with that Delphi murder case where the assailant is recorded saying 'Guys, down the hill' to two young girls. But it's definitely very normalised in the UK too now. Though I don't blame you for finding that just a touch too informal for a hospitality setting! 

  • in reply to Shardovan

    Yes, I have an aunty who will often say, "Hi guys", irrespective of whether she is addressing males or females. Agree with you that it's a bit too informal for a restaurant, but I think the idea is that it's meant to create a more relaxed atmosphere.

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