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Social Skills

ScienceTony

Hi,

I have noticed people calling each other 'darling' or 'lovey' at work.  This is always a risky think to do as it is not a sign of acceptance.  I have noticed that some people see this as a sign of acceptance, but it is, in fact, a sign of affection. 

This type of affection is shown to to romantic partners and children because they tend to need it.  You wouldn't call someone at work 'darling' unless you had little understanding of the meaning.  This is how people can get into trouble at work.  Some people with ASD copy the behaviours of others. They then see others calling each other 'darling' or 'babe' and then they copy.  However, without knowing the social context, this can be very risky in that it is likely to cause offence in others.  The safest thing thing to do is to call people by their name.

Do you find social situations difficult?  If so, what part of it do you find difficult?

Parents

  • I have a customer that repeatedly calls me duck, I never say anything and don’t  see how I have any links to a duck, and we are supposed to be the weird ones!

  • in reply to Roy

    Where I grew up, duck is used a lot. So I can relate to what you’ve said here!

  • in reply to Oakling

    I grew up in a part of the UK where the word used is something I dare not type here. To give you a clue, it was an abbreviation of a particular bird that one often sees on weather vanes, which is known for being rather noisy and waking people at dawn. As a child, I had absolutely no idea that this abbreviated word also had a completely different 'adult' meaning, and therefore was confused as to why my parents were keen for me not to repeat that abbreviated word.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yes, I think I know the one and have heard it used too. It seems like there are lots of versions of this style of word. Ones that are used as a friendly greeting and in friendly contexts between people who know one another but also complete strangers. Duck is very common place where I grew up, but when used out of that geographical area can catch people off guard. I imagine the word you are referencing is the same. But again, like other terms discussed in this thread, the word duck is another instance of me not really naturally being able to use it and therefore not bothering to. Whereas my family and friends use it freely- an interesting point to reflect on. I’m not great at giving objects other names either, where sometimes people give alternative names to objects or things (especially for children learning to talk) that potentially appear friendlier or easier to say, I can only call it by it’s proper name and this has always been the case for me.

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yes, I think I know the one and have heard it used too. It seems like there are lots of versions of this style of word. Ones that are used as a friendly greeting and in friendly contexts between people who know one another but also complete strangers. Duck is very common place where I grew up, but when used out of that geographical area can catch people off guard. I imagine the word you are referencing is the same. But again, like other terms discussed in this thread, the word duck is another instance of me not really naturally being able to use it and therefore not bothering to. Whereas my family and friends use it freely- an interesting point to reflect on. I’m not great at giving objects other names either, where sometimes people give alternative names to objects or things (especially for children learning to talk) that potentially appear friendlier or easier to say, I can only call it by it’s proper name and this has always been the case for me.

Children
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