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Social Skills

ScienceTony

Hi,

I have noticed people calling each other 'darling' or 'lovey' at work.  This is always a risky think to do as it is not a sign of acceptance.  I have noticed that some people see this as a sign of acceptance, but it is, in fact, a sign of affection. 

This type of affection is shown to to romantic partners and children because they tend to need it.  You wouldn't call someone at work 'darling' unless you had little understanding of the meaning.  This is how people can get into trouble at work.  Some people with ASD copy the behaviours of others. They then see others calling each other 'darling' or 'babe' and then they copy.  However, without knowing the social context, this can be very risky in that it is likely to cause offence in others.  The safest thing thing to do is to call people by their name.

Do you find social situations difficult?  If so, what part of it do you find difficult?

Parents

  • I can say mate fairly comfortably, but that is about it. Most definitely not things like ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’. Even with family or friends. It doesn’t come naturally to me so I don’t do it. I don’t mind people saying it to me or around me, but I get uncomfortable even considering saying it to someone else.

  • in reply to Oakling

    So would I. I diffidently don't like people of the same sex saying stuff like that to me.

  • in reply to ScienceTony

    SparklingAutistic, i laughed when i read your post about your Dad getting propositioned. When i was on the Cabs it happend to me quite a few times, it wasn't uncommen. I worked nights, and it always started exacrly the same way. The first couple of times i never realised what was happening, but then i learnt how to answer them.

    As i said, i'd be working nights and pick up a guy, usually on his own. He'd start talking about anything , the weather; the football, politics etc etc. Then he'd ask "Do you work permanant nights, what does your wife think about that ?...... In around about way, he wanted to know if i was married. The first couple of times i said, it was ok i wasn't married. i'm single. Then he'd start asking where i went drinking and did i fancy going for a pint on my day off ? After it happend a few times i started to answer ...... Oh my misses hates it, we have rows about all the time, she complains 'cos i never see her or the kids....... Then he started talking about football or the weather again.

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  • in reply to ScienceTony

    SparklingAutistic, i laughed when i read your post about your Dad getting propositioned. When i was on the Cabs it happend to me quite a few times, it wasn't uncommen. I worked nights, and it always started exacrly the same way. The first couple of times i never realised what was happening, but then i learnt how to answer them.

    As i said, i'd be working nights and pick up a guy, usually on his own. He'd start talking about anything , the weather; the football, politics etc etc. Then he'd ask "Do you work permanant nights, what does your wife think about that ?...... In around about way, he wanted to know if i was married. The first couple of times i said, it was ok i wasn't married. i'm single. Then he'd start asking where i went drinking and did i fancy going for a pint on my day off ? After it happend a few times i started to answer ...... Oh my misses hates it, we have rows about all the time, she complains 'cos i never see her or the kids....... Then he started talking about football or the weather again.

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