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Social Skills

ScienceTony

Hi,

I have noticed people calling each other 'darling' or 'lovey' at work.  This is always a risky think to do as it is not a sign of acceptance.  I have noticed that some people see this as a sign of acceptance, but it is, in fact, a sign of affection. 

This type of affection is shown to to romantic partners and children because they tend to need it.  You wouldn't call someone at work 'darling' unless you had little understanding of the meaning.  This is how people can get into trouble at work.  Some people with ASD copy the behaviours of others. They then see others calling each other 'darling' or 'babe' and then they copy.  However, without knowing the social context, this can be very risky in that it is likely to cause offence in others.  The safest thing thing to do is to call people by their name.

Do you find social situations difficult?  If so, what part of it do you find difficult?

Parents Reply Children
  • in reply to ScienceTony

    I can understand that a heterosexual man would probably feel uncomfortable if he was incorrectly perceived as gay, but he might well feel amused. My own father was once propositioned by a man and asked to dance, whilst my mother had been standing right next to him. My dad just laughed and told the man, "Sorry, but I think you're asking the wrong person!" My mother had also found the whole thing very amusing too.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I have noticed that some people will incorrectly use such terms because they find social situations difficult to understand and think by copying others they too can be a success.  However, copying female behaviour when you are a man will lead others to think that man is gay or weird.  This leads to people becoming socially isolated.

  • in reply to ScienceTony

    Does that mean you've heard ASD people say such things too? In the area where I live, the locals (male and females) will often call females, "Bab" or "Babby". It drives me potty! For example, "Yes Bab, how can I help you?" If addressing men, "Bab" will often be replaced with "mate", which I personally find more tolerable.