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Social Skills

ScienceTony

Hi,

I have noticed people calling each other 'darling' or 'lovey' at work.  This is always a risky think to do as it is not a sign of acceptance.  I have noticed that some people see this as a sign of acceptance, but it is, in fact, a sign of affection. 

This type of affection is shown to to romantic partners and children because they tend to need it.  You wouldn't call someone at work 'darling' unless you had little understanding of the meaning.  This is how people can get into trouble at work.  Some people with ASD copy the behaviours of others. They then see others calling each other 'darling' or 'babe' and then they copy.  However, without knowing the social context, this can be very risky in that it is likely to cause offence in others.  The safest thing thing to do is to call people by their name.

Do you find social situations difficult?  If so, what part of it do you find difficult?

Parents

  • Hi Tony,

    I drove a taxi, a Black Cab for many many years before i had to pack-in for medical reasons. It was quite normal that the women i picked up called me 'luv' ot 'darling'. Maybe even a few of the men.

    People have asked me, didn't that make me feel terrible, being autistic and having to meet so many different people everyday. But in fact it was mostly easier than when i worked in offices when i was younger.  When i worked in offices, the others were your workmates that you had to talk to, 'cos you built  up a relationship with. When i was in the Cab, if i picked up a fair of 4 / 5 people, they mostly chatted amongst themselves and ignored me. It was only when i picked a fair of a single person that i might have felt obliged to talk. Some chatted, others didn't. And even if it was someone who wanted to talk, most fairs were only short journeys, so they'd be getting out often less than 10mins  from when they got in.  So  you never in that situation were you had to build relationships. Even the other drivers, if you didn't pull onto ranks and park-up, if you only ever drove around 'the cobbles' looking to get 'hailed', you never had to build relationships with your workmates.

Reply

  • Hi Tony,

    I drove a taxi, a Black Cab for many many years before i had to pack-in for medical reasons. It was quite normal that the women i picked up called me 'luv' ot 'darling'. Maybe even a few of the men.

    People have asked me, didn't that make me feel terrible, being autistic and having to meet so many different people everyday. But in fact it was mostly easier than when i worked in offices when i was younger.  When i worked in offices, the others were your workmates that you had to talk to, 'cos you built  up a relationship with. When i was in the Cab, if i picked up a fair of 4 / 5 people, they mostly chatted amongst themselves and ignored me. It was only when i picked a fair of a single person that i might have felt obliged to talk. Some chatted, others didn't. And even if it was someone who wanted to talk, most fairs were only short journeys, so they'd be getting out often less than 10mins  from when they got in.  So  you never in that situation were you had to build relationships. Even the other drivers, if you didn't pull onto ranks and park-up, if you only ever drove around 'the cobbles' looking to get 'hailed', you never had to build relationships with your workmates.

Children
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