Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I’m Star. I have Autism and complex mental health challenges presumably due to my autism challenges, late diagnosis etc. See my introduction post for more information / explanation.
I am not really sure how to explain and I feel so uneasy and anxious about not saying everything I want to say or finishing, so I will give it my best shot and please ask questions below if I haven’t explained well or if you need more info. For the last two weeks, I have been out of control binge eating and it has just got worse to the point I eat all day until I am almost physically sick and in the most excruciating pain and sickness. I am struggling so much with life and I can’t cope with being alive. I think I might be burnt out and have been for a while as I fit all the symptoms and it appears to explain my behaviour. Binging I think is a negative coping strategy, makes me feel numb, adrenaline, drive, excitement, I’m impulsive with it, I know I am hurting myself and making myself suffer, it provides me comfort, I have also had a long battle with restrictive disordered eating problems due to autism, I struggle a lot with my Interoception, I’m so unhappy, I can’t leave the house or attend school due to burnout, I’m struggling so much with accepting and coping with being autistic, I am so lost, I don’t know my identity or my interests right now, it keeps me busy and not thinking about how much of a mess my life is, I have also restricted certain food groups so when I allow myself them I have literally no self control, I can’t do the simplest things I can’t do anything other than watch tv not even that sometimes as I’m so mentally unwell due to burnout, so I haven’t got any distractions. In addition, when I start something I can’t stop because of the way my brain is wired and I have obsessive compulsive traits. Has anyone else ever experienced this and does anyone know how else to cope with being alive and burnout or how to stop binging? I am not really sure how to get out of / recover from a burnout and I feel so alone in burnout. Or just to feel that I’m not alone as I can’t carry on like this and I am in such a crisis with so many aspects of my life right now due to a serious burnout.
Thank you for reading! Best wishes, Star x
Your overthinking every step into smaller steps until their is a thousand tasks and it becomes overwhelming and it destroys your motivation.
you also binging because your body is exhausted and eating is the quickest way to get fuel but you're emotionally exhausted and not physically deprived and your body is in conservation mode because your stressed.
If you are a child or a teenager you need to inform your parent or career the situation and remove as much expectations as realistically possible for the moment. Relax until your ready mentally to start progressing.
when your ready, you will know and start make small changes, it could be going for an hour walk a day, same route, same time of day.
your going to have to start exploring reasonable adaption's' sooner or later to make your life easier. it could be sunglasses and a hoodie and earphones without music. It sucks but the world and people in it aren't going to adapt and your relatives have their own lives to live and an expiration date.
your not the only one who has been through this, but if you keep fighting the burnout it will last longer.