Out of control Binge eating / Excessive overeating

Hi Star, I realise that this post of yours was submitted over 2 years ago, but it would be really interesting and helpful to know how you are coping to this present day. I have recently been late diagnosed with autism at the age of 28. I have a long history of eating disorders, first diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 12, and have since battled to varying degrees with various forms of eating disorders. My most recent struggle, as was yours 2 years ago, is dealing with binge eating when I reach burn out. If you have any advice on how you have helped alleviate the symptoms, guilt and shame associated with doing this, then I would be most appreciative of knowing. Thank you for your time. I hope you are doing well and being gentle on yourself. Take care, Alice x

totally understand this... for me anything that takes longer than 10-15 minutes to prepare is too long... and  this is the improved version of me- I spent months living of crackers, toast, eggs and prawns essentially... it did not end well :(  (essentially lost so much weight unintentionally that it became very dangerous) - but I have become quite good at making homemade meals very fast actually!! 

The rice cooker is a big help too as it does not need to be looked after. Then I make lots of stirfrys. Potatoes can be 'boiled' in microwave in 3-4 min too (just poke some holes in them so they don't explode first though) and just put in bowl... Also pasta can be super quick. Or wraps/pita- can even get ready grilled chicken or prawns to put in it... And I love eggs as they are quick :) 

Definitely not on your own both of you. I have zero motivation, can't cook at all at the moment I just buy ready made meals. The problem is when I have no motivation to eat and then just go hungry. Sucks having no motivation.

Hi Star, I struggle with food and eating too and it can be so tough. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time. You are not alone. My eating issues are probably also related to autism: I struggle with binging but also with undereating, eating the same thing over and over, digestive issues, avoiding foods due to fear of digestive distress, OCD tendencies etc. I don't know if I can really give advice given that I haven't really figure it all out myself yet but I can share some of my experiences?  I want you to know that you are not alone and that you can break the binging cycle. 

For me binging can be an act of self-sabotage and self-harm whilst also being an attempt to seek comfort when distressed/stressed/sad etc. - so it can result in a vicious cycle where I binge, feel really bad and horrible, punish myself with food, then feel so terrible that I will seek comfort in food again and all I feel I can do is eat more. For me a lot of it is about self-acceptance/ love as I often feel like I do not deserve to feel good. I only managed to stop my last streak of binging after feeling extremely low and realising that this could not go on and that I deserved better. It's a horrible cycle with the binging as it can really destroy your confidence and feelings of self-worth- but the good thing is that that cycle can also go in the opposite direction- the better you start to feel, the less you will feel the need to binge and it will get easier. Try to be kind to yourself whatever you do or happens. It is not your fault. All you can do is try to keep going and learn from it and be kind to yourself. Even once you do better, you will probably trip up again and probably will have a binge again but you'll learn to move on faster and not slip into the cycle again. 

Another reason that can contribute to binging is restriction, such as undereating, not allowing yourself to eat certain foods, having long gaps between meals, over-exercising. This can contribute to binging so what really helps is to try to get some structure into your eating- eg. 3 meals and 2-3 snacks for example. The advice is also to try and not skip meals after a binge. I find this does not always work for me as I struggle a lot with digestive issues too and if I feel too ill to eat the next snack/meal and try to force myself to have it, it can set off another cycle of binging. So I will try to still have the next meal or snack after a binge if I can and don't feel too nauseous but sometimes it is better for me to wait a little, though I would not go for hours without eating. Also if you are not allowing yourself to eat certain foods it could trigger binging on those foods. 

On a practical note though it might help to get rid of any foods that you binge on at the start to make it less easy to binge on them . I personally don't feel comfortable 'banning' a certain food (as I believe that getting rid of food labels in my mind will help) but it is an act of kindness to not have foods that make you unhappy in the house at this point. It doesn't mean you cannot have them again but you are just making life a little easier for the moment. I know this can be hard if you are not living on your own (I've unfortunately been there where I ate my flatmates cookies or chocolates etc and it is an awful feeling as it is completely inappropriate from a rational perspective... I replaced the items when this happened but it is a horrible feeling). 

I have had very good help from a dietitian for a while now- She is absolutely amazing and has experience with autistic clients: It's just quite expensive (I was lucky that college helped fund some sessions): Here is her website- I highly recommend her- she is so compassionate, understanding and kind and much more than a dietitian. 

home | dalia weinreb (dalianutrition.com) 

My main advice is to be kind to yourself. You are going through a hard time but you will get through this. 

I do still struggle a lot with food but I am doing much much better now: 2 months ago I was so underweight that I was on the verge of being hospitalised (I essentially had been working so much and just eating the same 5 foods in same order and had cut out too many foods for fear of digestive issues, phobic reactions to everything etc.)- I thought I wouldn't make it - I am now back to a normal weight. I went through a phase of only allowing myself pastries in sabotage. But I am doing better on that too now and cooking and having regular healthy meals, occasional treat :) (with quite a lot of slip ups still but it's getting there hopefully). In the past I have had such bad binging (mainly out of stress) that I would eat myself to the point where i could barely move (I have barely ever felt so hopeless and helpless- it's hard). That went on for weeks but I got through that too and managed to stop. 

I do particularly poorly when I am unhappy with my life in general or when there is a lot of stress. Is there anything that you could change to reduce stress/ make you happier? It would be really good to learn some coping strategies other than food- I still haven't really figured this out but have you tried some other activities/distractions (eg. going for a walk, drawing, music, sudokos, boardgames online- tbh the only one that ever worked for me is being outdoors... but injury makes it hard)? Have you talked to anyone about your struggles? Can you get some support maybe? 

Personally for my eating issues the person that has been most helpful has been my dietitian- She has been much more than that and provided a lot of emotional support and helped me realise the role of stress, try to be kind to myself (and she also is the one that picked up on that I am probably autistic). 

I am not sure if any of this is helpful or if you can relate to any of it as I realise that it is impossible to generalise about struggles around food- but I want you to know that you are not alone! You can do this! I am sending you lots of strength! Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help

You're not alone. I have the same problem. I can cook a meal from scratch, but get no enjoyment from it, hence my lack of motivation. I'm terrible for relying on ready meals that I can put in the microwave, or takeaway deliveries.

Your overthinking every step into smaller steps until their is a thousand tasks and it becomes overwhelming and it destroys your motivation.

you also binging because your body is exhausted and eating is the quickest way to get fuel but you're emotionally exhausted and not physically deprived and your body is in conservation mode because your stressed. 

If you are a child or a teenager you need to inform your parent or career the situation and remove as much expectations as realistically possible for the moment. Relax until your ready mentally to start progressing.

when your ready, you will know and start make small changes, it could be going for an hour walk a day, same route, same time of day.

your going to have to start exploring reasonable adaption's' sooner or later to make your life easier. it could be sunglasses and a hoodie and earphones without music. It sucks but the world and people in it aren't going to adapt and your relatives have their own lives to live and an expiration date.  

your not the only one who has been through this, but if you keep fighting the burnout it will last longer. 

My main issue is lack of motivation to cook; see the message from my thread.