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No diagnosis but after some help and advice

JP87

Hi every one,

I've not had any diagnoses or seen any doctors but after some advice from people who maybe able to help.

My question is with relationships, I've been with my husband now for 8 years and I feel really bad as I think he feels I don't live him which I really do, he just says I'm not very affectionate, which I know I'm not.

Maybe at the start of our relationship I was more loving and normal I suppose you could say but now further down the line Im just not like that and he doesn't understand why, I always tell him I don't need all that cuddling/kissing, that isn't what a relationship is too me, but to him it's a big thing, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable although I do love him to bits.

Although I can be totally different with my 2 year old. 

I also find I can struggle with my moods and take this out with him, I just always feel so drained, to which I did have some meds for this last year which seemed to help after having a baby through lockdown got me at rock bottom. 

I never thought of anything along this line of diagnoses, untill my mom mentioned it too me. I'm not saying this is what it is but just looking for others experience to see if I'm not the only one out here like this. And wether it is something that I should maybe see the doctors about possibly?

Thank you all for listening, I'm very greatful of any advice any one can give.

Parents

  • I don't have much experience of long-term relationships, but I had once been in a relationship that looked like it was going somewhere. At the beginning of the relationship, we both appeared to be on the same page in terms of the amount of physical affection we gave each other. However, as the relationship progressed and I felt more settled, my need for this mutual exchange of affection waned somewhat. His hadn't, and it caused him to feel a sense of rejection, even though (like you) I loved him to bits and was deliriously happy in his company. 

    You have a 2-year-old, and that in itself can be exhausting. The love you have for your child is different, so it's not surprising that you are different with your child in terms of the physical affection you give.

    If you're curious as to whether you may be Autistic, there is something called an AQ50 assessment, which can be done online. Absolutely free, and no having to register with a website to do it. It won't provide you with a diagnosis but will give you a clearer idea as to whether you might be Autistic.
    https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

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  • I don't have much experience of long-term relationships, but I had once been in a relationship that looked like it was going somewhere. At the beginning of the relationship, we both appeared to be on the same page in terms of the amount of physical affection we gave each other. However, as the relationship progressed and I felt more settled, my need for this mutual exchange of affection waned somewhat. His hadn't, and it caused him to feel a sense of rejection, even though (like you) I loved him to bits and was deliriously happy in his company. 

    You have a 2-year-old, and that in itself can be exhausting. The love you have for your child is different, so it's not surprising that you are different with your child in terms of the physical affection you give.

    If you're curious as to whether you may be Autistic, there is something called an AQ50 assessment, which can be done online. Absolutely free, and no having to register with a website to do it. It won't provide you with a diagnosis but will give you a clearer idea as to whether you might be Autistic.
    https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

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