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Family and Bullies

Roy

Hi, first of all sorry for my slight outburst yesterday. This weekend has been the first time we have had someone to stay since lockdown. I always find having people in the house very stressful. I thought as this person is family that it was safe to tell them of my autism. I got told that,  “ I just don’t like anyone” I tried to explain that I have trouble understanding people. I got met with, “ you need to try more and not make this autism thing all about you”. I felt that I was back in the school playground with a bully. This went on for about 15 minutes, I don’t know if I’m angry or disappointed, most probably a bit of both.

This person is supposed to be highly educated, she had been drinking, I suppose someone’s true colours come out then. She is leaving today and I hope she won’t return.

Parents

  • I’m very sad to read this, but even more disappointed to read that you have had to experience this. Perhaps, as both you and SparklingAutistic have said, it was alcohol related, but this is an incredibly unfair response to your disclosure. It is the sort of response I dread to receive truth be told.

  • in reply to Oakling

    Hi, don’t let my experience put you off, I don’t tell many people of my autism (about 6) all have been supportive, yes some do ask questions but I think that’s good, it’s how we learn. I was really just venting earlier, it did just shock me, I tend not to argue with people, it often seems to make them angrier that I won’t engage with their rant.

  • in reply to Roy

    I think I’d come to terms with having some mixed reactions when telling people about me being autistic, but I still find it odd that people would react poorly. What is there to react to? We are still the same people they have potentially known for a while now etc. 

    I do agree about people being able to ask questions, learning about others is not a bad thing. I tend to just say that I’m autistic now and leave it up to the other party to how much information they want.

    And again I agree with SparklingAutistic in coming here to vent, rather than bottling things up as so many of us have had to do for significant lengths of time.

    I hope you have more positive experiences moving forwards from here though.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I think this is something that one of my friends said to me post diagnosis. It was to the effect of already knowing me for who I am. It was a nice response very early into my post-diagnosis life. But typical for me, this passing comment has given me lots to think about and reflect on. Only this time, it is a reflection on what I would like from others whenever I disclose my diagnosis.

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I think this is something that one of my friends said to me post diagnosis. It was to the effect of already knowing me for who I am. It was a nice response very early into my post-diagnosis life. But typical for me, this passing comment has given me lots to think about and reflect on. Only this time, it is a reflection on what I would like from others whenever I disclose my diagnosis.

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