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Family and Bullies

Roy

Hi, first of all sorry for my slight outburst yesterday. This weekend has been the first time we have had someone to stay since lockdown. I always find having people in the house very stressful. I thought as this person is family that it was safe to tell them of my autism. I got told that,  “ I just don’t like anyone” I tried to explain that I have trouble understanding people. I got met with, “ you need to try more and not make this autism thing all about you”. I felt that I was back in the school playground with a bully. This went on for about 15 minutes, I don’t know if I’m angry or disappointed, most probably a bit of both.

This person is supposed to be highly educated, she had been drinking, I suppose someone’s true colours come out then. She is leaving today and I hope she won’t return.

Parents

  • I’m very sad to read this, but even more disappointed to read that you have had to experience this. Perhaps, as both you and SparklingAutistic have said, it was alcohol related, but this is an incredibly unfair response to your disclosure. It is the sort of response I dread to receive truth be told.

  • in reply to Oakling

    Hi, don’t let my experience put you off, I don’t tell many people of my autism (about 6) all have been supportive, yes some do ask questions but I think that’s good, it’s how we learn. I was really just venting earlier, it did just shock me, I tend not to argue with people, it often seems to make them angrier that I won’t engage with their rant.

  • in reply to Roy

    Better to vent, than to allow negative feelings to fester and remain bottled up, I find.

    You sound similar to me. I dislike conflict and tend not to engage either if someone is ranting at me. My mother often used to rant at me, and it would often make her more angry when I ignored it. She thought I was intentionally trying to wind her up by not reacting. She's different now though, as I think she's finally realised that I won't tolerate being spoken down to and shouted at.

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  • in reply to Roy

    Better to vent, than to allow negative feelings to fester and remain bottled up, I find.

    You sound similar to me. I dislike conflict and tend not to engage either if someone is ranting at me. My mother often used to rant at me, and it would often make her more angry when I ignored it. She thought I was intentionally trying to wind her up by not reacting. She's different now though, as I think she's finally realised that I won't tolerate being spoken down to and shouted at.

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