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Attachment in friendships

sphynx

Hi all,

I’m very clingy in friendships and I think it can be intense for the other person. One friend in particular I have been kind of obsessed with for about 7 years: I’ve been in love with them for that time, and I very frequently think and fantasise about them. We were really close at one point but there’s been a lot of fluctuation in our connection, which I find really painful. Wondering if anyone can relate either to the obsessiveness or the struggling with flux in friendships? Maybe the former could be connected with special interests - is this person a special interest for me? Is a mind prone to getting obsessed with things more likely to get obsessed with friends too? And perhaps the latter could be part of a more general discomfort with change, (although in most other situations I struggle with this less)? Or maybe it’s just me… I’d appreciate some thoughts. Thanks in advance :)

Parents

  • When I was younger I could possibly be a bit clingy in friendships, as I’ve got older I’ve become more realistic about what I am to other people. By that I mean, I’m aware that a lot of people will act friendly, and even visit my house or accompany me on days out, whilst only viewing me as an acquaintance. I have my set of autistic friends now, so it’s easier to tolerate NT social games. 
    Also, it is totally possible to become obsessed with a person and therefore a friend. It’s a long time since I’ve been obsessed with a friend, but it has happened.

Reply

  • When I was younger I could possibly be a bit clingy in friendships, as I’ve got older I’ve become more realistic about what I am to other people. By that I mean, I’m aware that a lot of people will act friendly, and even visit my house or accompany me on days out, whilst only viewing me as an acquaintance. I have my set of autistic friends now, so it’s easier to tolerate NT social games. 
    Also, it is totally possible to become obsessed with a person and therefore a friend. It’s a long time since I’ve been obsessed with a friend, but it has happened.

Children