Boundary blending with social cohesion

I've been building up ideas about this for a while. I anticipate that hurtful experiences of environments tend to lead to avoidance, and the more avoidance you have the more sensitive you get to further exposure. Possibly its a bit like allergy.

So my approach has been to confront the uncomfortable situations, try to find out what's uncomfortable for me, and see if I can change my sensitivity by deliberate exposure to some of the uncomfortable components - a little at a time. Which is one treatment used for allergies.

I can use supermarkets, but in some I feel uncomfortable, especially queuing at the tills. There are seats along the walls of the exit side of the tills in the supermarket I most used, so I would sit down for a bit before leaving and listen in on what sounds there were.

I don't seem to filter sounds very well, so I think I get the lot full on, most of the time. So it has helped to sit quietly for a while and try to separate out the sources.

What I found was that the tills nearer the exit, while better for small shoppers like me (baskets only, fewer than ten items etc) were the worst for noise, while it was quieter at the farther tills, used by people with hugely loaded trolleys. Strangely after this I found it more comfortable to wait longer behind people with large purchases than queue in the faster service tills, even though potentially a long queue situation might be more stressful. Why?

The tills near the exit were exposed to traffic and pavement noise from outside. They were also next to the refrigeration units, which I realise hum a lot, building up the noise level. Also the ringing of tills is more frequent there, and there are more people moving around. So the faster service tills were noise-wise the worst to use.

The farther away from the exit tills took longer, but had fewer people, weren't near the fridges, or the exit. So it proved wiser to use them.

I've been building up ideas about this for a while. I anticipate that hurtful experiences of environments tend to lead to avoidance, and the more avoidance you have the more sensitive you get to further exposure. Possibly its a bit like allergy.

So my approach has been to confront the uncomfortable situations, try to find out what's uncomfortable for me, and see if I can change my sensitivity by deliberate exposure to some of the uncomfortable components - a little at a time. Which is one treatment used for allergies.

I can use supermarkets, but in some I feel uncomfortable, especially queuing at the tills. There are seats along the walls of the exit side of the tills in the supermarket I most used, so I would sit down for a bit before leaving and listen in on what sounds there were.

I don't seem to filter sounds very well, so I think I get the lot full on, most of the time. So it has helped to sit quietly for a while and try to separate out the sources.

What I found was that the tills nearer the exit, while better for small shoppers like me (baskets only, fewer than ten items etc) were the worst for noise, while it was quieter at the farther tills, used by people with hugely loaded trolleys. Strangely after this I found it more comfortable to wait longer behind people with large purchases than queue in the faster service tills, even though potentially a long queue situation might be more stressful. Why?

The tills near the exit were exposed to traffic and pavement noise from outside. They were also next to the refrigeration units, which I realise hum a lot, building up the noise level. Also the ringing of tills is more frequent there, and there are more people moving around. So the faster service tills were noise-wise the worst to use.

The farther away from the exit tills took longer, but had fewer people, weren't near the fridges, or the exit. So it proved wiser to use them.