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Disclosing own adult diagnosis to teenage son

Nervosa

Hello,

I am 47 and very recently received a diagnosis of ASD. I haven’t told my son yet as he’s 18 and away at university. I’m not sure how to explain this to him, especially as I’ve always considered him to be very similar to me which now makes me think he might be autistic too. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m okay with telling friends and other mature family members, but I’m unsure as to approach this as a parent. 
Thanks. 

Parents

  • Hello, 

    Congratulations on your diagnosis. I'm autistic and a parent too. 

    While our kids are different ages I hope you don't mind me offering my perspective and sharing my experience with you.

    My kid is 8 this week and and I used to work in the autism sector. My daughter likes to ask alot of questions and from a very young again would ask me about my job and what autism meant. So she had a decent understanding.

    My daughter would also regularly tell me that I was different to the other mum's and dad's that I was cool cause I actually like watching disney films and my little pony, playing lego, drawing. She was also aware that I am very shy and quiet and that I have few friends. If I go to the opticians for example she will tell them "oh mummy isnt good with bright lights" . She knows I'm noise sensitive (she actually is aswell) and she will tease me because she knows I can stand certain textures like velvet.

    When I got diagnosed last year I decided to share the news with her. She asked again what it meant and I explained and she thought about it and she hugged me and told me it made alot of sense. I think kids pick up on alot of things just by being around us and they are alot more accepting than we give them credit for. 

    Maybe your son has his suspicions about you him and hasn't known how to bring it up. Maybe having a conversation with him could be a nice father son bonding experience. 

    Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well for you. 

  • in reply to Droppedfromspace_

    Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s great that your daughter is so empathetic! I think you’re right in that youngsters of today are much more accepting than those of my childhood. A nice chat over a cuppa will hopefully do the job. 

  • in reply to Nervosa

    Definitely can't go wrong with a cuppa. Best of luck to you

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