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Sunday night worry

Roy

Trying to stay awake for as long as possible, Sunday night is a hate for me. If I manage 3 hours sleep I will be doing well. My mind won’t stop thinking and my anxiety goes through the roof. I will have to meet people tomorrow or use a phone, both fill me with dread. I spend most days at the moment with anxiety 24/7

Parents

  • I have always hated sunday evenings too! Last Sunday had a nice lunch with friends but got back about 5 and all I could think about was the dread of work in the morning. Its been like that most of my life, particually as a kid. I am lucky that sleep is my release, my body loves sleep as it doesn't have to cope with the world then. 

    I too am in my 50's and feel very much like you do about things. We never had a chance to be diagnosed when we were young. Only those that made problems for teachers were looked into for issues, I was a quiet, slightly below average pupil. I have no idea who I really am. My teens were awful, 20's not great, 30's and 40's much better, 50's I had a massive meltdown I am still recovering from. Don't be too tough on yourself, its a miracle we have survived this long really. 

  • in reply to NAS65321

    Hi, I think the dread most probably does go back to school life. I don’t know if being different in the 70’s would have been received well. I can remember the headmaster doing the, “ this is so and so, he has this, you must all be nice to him.” He was basically signing their death warrant. If we had of known that we are autistic then, with no support, I don’t think it would have been any better. The masking is just so draining, I’m trying to slowly stop. The hard part is working out what is you and what part is this persona that we created to escape first the bullies in school and then work. I’ve become increasingly non verbal and am much happier when I can do this. I stim at home now when I need to and have started to take more time for me.

  • in reply to Roy

    I really wonder what it has been like if ASD had been understood in the 70's and 80's. I suffered enough bullying without being labeled as being 'special'. I remember in the 70's Blue Peter had a guy called Joey Deacon to show disabled people could achieve things in life. Of course kids are cruel and anybody who was a bit diffrent, or thick was called a Joey. I was quite a sickly child (asthma mainly) and I can remember a 'special' school being mentioned and I hated that thought. 

    I wish I could just retire, sit at home infront of the PC and watch youtube stuff, read books, make model kits, all the things that make me relaxed and happy, but sadly that does not pay the bills.

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  • in reply to Roy

    I really wonder what it has been like if ASD had been understood in the 70's and 80's. I suffered enough bullying without being labeled as being 'special'. I remember in the 70's Blue Peter had a guy called Joey Deacon to show disabled people could achieve things in life. Of course kids are cruel and anybody who was a bit diffrent, or thick was called a Joey. I was quite a sickly child (asthma mainly) and I can remember a 'special' school being mentioned and I hated that thought. 

    I wish I could just retire, sit at home infront of the PC and watch youtube stuff, read books, make model kits, all the things that make me relaxed and happy, but sadly that does not pay the bills.

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