• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 2419 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Reacting to change, shock and surprises.

Sassenach

I react quite badly to any form of change, shock or surprise.
An email about a direct debit rise for example can send me into a tailspin. Even something tiny, such as an assistant unexpectedly removing and keeping a coat hanger from an item of clothing at the checkout can cause stress and anxiety 

I had other examples in mind, but am still reacting to something  that happened recently so I can't think properly right now. 


It's not that I can't be impulsive, because I can. But anything that blindsides me can send me into a small or a major meltdown

My ways of coping are to sleep, or if that isn't possible, play a game on my phone or watch a favourite TV show wearing my comfy clothes.  But I'm looking for ways of managing my reactions to changes, rather than just coping after I've had the reaction.





Parents

  • Can relate to tailspin. Got a meeting mixed up at work this week. I'd been banking on it all week to get answers then once I realised I'd got the date wrong I couldn't concentrate. It was a change to The Plan in my head.

    I booked a restaurant a while ago. Except I'd booked the one on the opposite side of the road by mistake. We stayed at the one I'd booked but again it threw me. However now I understand how my brain works I could see what was happening and just gave myself time to process it and knew I'd be ok. In the past it would've escalated into falling out with those present.

    My partner helped me by peeling spuds on Christmas day. I didn't know he'd done this and it sent me into overdrive as I was the one doing the meal.

    Moving house felt like it broke me but I couldn't understand why moving out for uni was fine. That was all on my terms. I'm fine if a change is on my terms but if it's not I find it incredibly difficult. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I really relate to you here. That "change to the plan in my head" is what throws me entirely. Change is OK.. on my terms. 

  • in reply to Sassenach

    We can't avoid change I think we just have to learn to deal with it and be kind to ourselves. 

  • in reply to Homebird
    Homebird said:
    I need time to rethink the plan I already had worked out in my head.

    Yes! It's kind of like one track mind and I need time to allow my brain to change track.

    Moving house...it was even things like the light coming in in a different direction or angle that I needed to get used to.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I agree with this. I need time to rethink the plan I already had worked out in my head.

    It helps if you have people around who are happy to give time to readjust.

    Moving house not only involves lots of plans but when you are there it takes a while to remember new places. 

Reply Children