Parent thinking autism is "an excuse"

I'm sorry to hear that you are this difficult situation. Just initially, I would say that you should dismiss any thoughts of you being label seeking as intrusive thoughts. The fact that you resonate so much with autistic characteristics and have been told (I presume, by someone who is knowledgeable in the area) that you are likely to be autistic shows that you aren't just label seeking. That being said, in our society, we require labels in order to access the few services that are available to us. Getting those labels is therefore a matter of accessing the services that we need to function and therefore not something which we should feel shame about.

You should also disregard his statement that you are using it as an excuse - he is quite obviously unaware of what it means to be autistic and the autistic experience. That is not an attack on his character - I know nothing about him; what I do know, however, is that lots of people are unaware of what it means to be autistic and therefore attempt to understand in ways like just being fussy or attention-seeking, and all sorts of other unpleasant ways.

While it may be true that lots of non-autistic people experience things like anxiety, it is the intensity of that experience which is relevant here; autistic people tend to experience anxiety at a high level of intensity. Anxiety toward new and uncertain situations such as a job interview is quite common but with autistic people the level of anxiety is so high that it can be disabling and cause serious mental distress. 

- Sp. Oc.

I'm sorry to hear that you are this difficult situation. Just initially, I would say that you should dismiss any thoughts of you being label seeking as intrusive thoughts. The fact that you resonate so much with autistic characteristics and have been told (I presume, by someone who is knowledgeable in the area) that you are likely to be autistic shows that you aren't just label seeking. That being said, in our society, we require labels in order to access the few services that are available to us. Getting those labels is therefore a matter of accessing the services that we need to function and therefore not something which we should feel shame about.

You should also disregard his statement that you are using it as an excuse - he is quite obviously unaware of what it means to be autistic and the autistic experience. That is not an attack on his character - I know nothing about him; what I do know, however, is that lots of people are unaware of what it means to be autistic and therefore attempt to understand in ways like just being fussy or attention-seeking, and all sorts of other unpleasant ways.

While it may be true that lots of non-autistic people experience things like anxiety, it is the intensity of that experience which is relevant here; autistic people tend to experience anxiety at a high level of intensity. Anxiety toward new and uncertain situations such as a job interview is quite common but with autistic people the level of anxiety is so high that it can be disabling and cause serious mental distress. 

- Sp. Oc.

Well said, (my tentacular and three dimensional friend..) 

That thing about stress is so true.

I found when landing an aeroplane, that the natural raised levels of stress that that sort of thing engenders, could get in the way of remembering to pull the right switches at the right time and say the right things to the people on the ground via the radio, and if I let it I would be easily overwhelmed...

At such times, I am thankfully nuts enough to be able to invoke, on demand an "alternate personality" who will using my own voice, and some very choice language quite often, talk me through the whole thing as I do it... When it's job is done it slips away, until it is needed again. 

I got lost once, open cockpit, and with a storm quickly forming to one side of me. As I felt the rush of "concern" tighten my chest, a rather sarcastic and familiar voice (my own) told me to "settle down, orbit the aeroplane about a point on the ground and take time to work the problems". Eventually after some calm discussion we worked out the correct thing to do, carefully picked a spot to put the aeroplane down, (from that point on, I decided to admit my weakness at nav' and carry, but not use a GPS...) and it all went well.

Just because the situation is out of control and scares the willies out of ME, I am lucky to have an "alter" and it's bloody useful!

A bit off topic, sorry...