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Parent thinking autism is "an excuse"

Ann :)

I am currently waiting for an autism assessment as it was recently suggested that it is likely that I am on the ADS. This has been a huge revelation and so much of it resonates with me and it would make so much sense. My mum has been very understanding (and is starting to think that she is probably also autistic- I agree...). I also mentioned the possibility to my dad (my parents are divorced). Yesterday I talked to my dad on the phone as I wanted to get his advice on a difficult situation I am in... instead my dad got very mad at me saying that I was just using the autism label as an excuse to not sort out my life and to hide behind. I felt extremely misunderstood as I have been trying so hard for years and as I am really struggling at the moment.  Has anyone else experienced this reaction from people? I have very low confidence anyways at the moment and it is not helped by the fact that I am not formally diagnosed yet (and of course I have my own fears that I could be label seeking ). Realising that I am probably autistic has been a huge revelation and relief for me... and it is helping me understand my patterns and myself and also to accept myself more... I am struggling with burnout at the moment and my dad's comments yesterday really pulled me down.

Parents

  • Sounds exactly like what happened to me. At least two family members have brought up the  ‘it’s an excuse’ card after my recent diagnosis. It’s very sad but some people (even close family members) want to tarnish you with the same brush. I’ve tried pointing them to research and information related to autism so they can better understand the situation but to no avail !? 

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  • Sounds exactly like what happened to me. At least two family members have brought up the  ‘it’s an excuse’ card after my recent diagnosis. It’s very sad but some people (even close family members) want to tarnish you with the same brush. I’ve tried pointing them to research and information related to autism so they can better understand the situation but to no avail !? 

Children
  • in reply to Don

    :( It's sad that this seems to be a common occurance... I think it is hard for people to understand. My dad also said to me "making friends/ getting to know people is hard for everyone". Or he cannot grasp the concept of a 'special interest' (The special interest concept is harder possibly- I still struggle to understand that not everyone pursues an interest to exculsion of all else/ with same passion that I do ...- I thought that was totally normal.)  

    I just wish he would try to understand rather than labelling it as an excuse. At least my mum is super understanding- but she is probably also autistic, so I guess it makes sense that she can relate.