• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 3261 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Parent thinking autism is "an excuse"

Ann :)

I am currently waiting for an autism assessment as it was recently suggested that it is likely that I am on the ADS. This has been a huge revelation and so much of it resonates with me and it would make so much sense. My mum has been very understanding (and is starting to think that she is probably also autistic- I agree...). I also mentioned the possibility to my dad (my parents are divorced). Yesterday I talked to my dad on the phone as I wanted to get his advice on a difficult situation I am in... instead my dad got very mad at me saying that I was just using the autism label as an excuse to not sort out my life and to hide behind. I felt extremely misunderstood as I have been trying so hard for years and as I am really struggling at the moment.  Has anyone else experienced this reaction from people? I have very low confidence anyways at the moment and it is not helped by the fact that I am not formally diagnosed yet (and of course I have my own fears that I could be label seeking ). Realising that I am probably autistic has been a huge revelation and relief for me... and it is helping me understand my patterns and myself and also to accept myself more... I am struggling with burnout at the moment and my dad's comments yesterday really pulled me down.

Parents

  • I had a similar situation with my ex regarding our son. I was sure he had autism and he just refused to believe it and said his behaviour was all due to being naughty and attention seeking. After 2-3yrs I finally had him assessed with the help from the school and it was confirmed he was autistic. After showing my ex he still refused to believe it. After giving him some advice on how to help our son when he suffered anxiety attacks and mood changes he then realised that autism was real and that our son has it. He now researches and understands it better and beginning to see that his behaviour is a reflection of his diagnosis and he’s not just ‘naughty’. I do hope this happens for you. It may just be your dad does not understand what autism is. X

Reply

  • I had a similar situation with my ex regarding our son. I was sure he had autism and he just refused to believe it and said his behaviour was all due to being naughty and attention seeking. After 2-3yrs I finally had him assessed with the help from the school and it was confirmed he was autistic. After showing my ex he still refused to believe it. After giving him some advice on how to help our son when he suffered anxiety attacks and mood changes he then realised that autism was real and that our son has it. He now researches and understands it better and beginning to see that his behaviour is a reflection of his diagnosis and he’s not just ‘naughty’. I do hope this happens for you. It may just be your dad does not understand what autism is. X

Children
  • in reply to NAS78722

    I am glad that your ex is becoming more understanding... It could be a lack of understanding I guess... though I did talk to my dad about the possibility of autism previously and I had explained to him why I thought I could be autistic and what it meant to me. I am not sure what triggered his reaction yesterday. I think he is becoming frustrated with me not coping with life. I am trying so hard, but I don't think he sees that because he doesn't face the same issues.