Autistic Adult Living at Home

Hello, 

I was wondering if anyone might be able to give me some advice regarding my sister. She has high-functioning autism and has been living in my parents annexe for nearly 3 years. She is 29 next week.

She has a degree in Computer Science from the University of Cambridge, however she has not worked for over 5 years. She doesn't want to live at home, and my parents are now heading towards financial difficulty, so need to be able to rent out the annexe. She has lived away from home before and is reasonably self-sufficient. We are keen to help get her on the right track, but she is very difficult to communicate with. Every time work and life progression is mentioned she either has a panic attack or just gets angry and walks away. She is also transgender which may well have an impact on her nerves regarding work. My belief is that her autism and previous damaging experience in the work place are the main culprits. Her most recent role was within a company who had little to no understanding of autism, and has left her with severe workplace anxiety. 

It's pretty distressing for everyone involved at this point. My parents have had their fair share of health issues to deal with as well in recent years, and of course for my sister it is clearly draining to go through these discussions over and over again. We have tried offering assistance with job searches, just doing the searches for her, helping understanding what is holding her back and many other varying approaches but we seem to always meet a brick wall. 

Does anyone have any advice for us to be able to connect with and help her in a practical and unharmful way? My mum keeps telling me how she just wants for my sister to be happy and live her own life. 

Thanks, 

Anon