Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I have been advised to have an autism assessment. It completely threw me. I have depression and anxiety which isn't responding to anything, and it was suggested to me that I might be autistic.
I then started looking into ASD, and there are some things that fit, but not all.
Terrified of social events, so I don't attend. If I don't know people I have zero confidence in approaching and starting a conversation. Yet, at work I get along with my colleagues without issues (but still choose not to socialise with them outside of work).
Do notice minute details, and point out incorrect things. Sensitive to loud noise, and struggle to concentrate with to much noise.
As a child I had friends, did role play, had an imagination, knew to take turns, made eye contact, was early to talk, walk, no issues with development, didn't have obsessions or collect things, didn't have any repetitive movements. Played sports. I did take things literally.
As a teenager I experienced some bullying, and hid in the bathrooms at recess ro avoid further bullying, and the thought of trying to join another friendship group was to much. Then moved countries, had the best of times, socialised, had friends.
Went to Uni. Ended up exercising 6 plus hours a day, stopped going to social nights out, abandoned swim club in favour of solitary exercise. I felt put of place, and socially awkward.
Since uni have zero social life, no close friends since high school, suffer greatly from depression and anxiety, relied on medication, but that is no longer effective.
And now, I have the 'do I have autism?' thrown in, and it has sent me into turmoil. I didn't think I did, then read a book or two of people's personal stories, and find myself thinking, parts of their writing could be me.
Have others with poor mental health had late diagnosis of autism? Did it help you? Are there other people who got through life until 40 years old with no suggestion that they may be autism, have it suggested or thought they might have?
Howdy!
Diagnosed last month at 39 years old. I've been functioning on anxiety & depression for a while now and for me (everyone's different plus it's a non-linear spectrum) it has helped. Just by identifying as being on the spectrum 6 months ago helped. I got so stuck with trying to stay afloat and the energy this zapped out of me, then asking questions about myself was such a big start regardless of whether it was ASD or not.
It's a daunting yet exciting exploration. Touche, knowledge is power. Also, understanding that for me anxiety is something I have to learn to navigate rather than solve has made me less anxious! Humans are odd :D