Helping me understand myself

I have recently been diagnosed with autism. Being 45 I've found it very hard coming to terms with it. But it has made me think about how I act and it does explain a lot about me. I don't communicate well at all and as I will talk to other people I don't socialise.

It's cause of my partner now that I've been diagnosed, but she gets angry with me because of the way I am. I forget things and I tend to shut off without knowing I'm doing it. and i won't have a conversation or I do and i say something totally wrong which winds her up, so I talk less.

I was wondering if anyone knows about any help that's out or people to talk with. As I dont know much about aurtism or what sort of help I need.

I'm not very good at writing things like this and people tend to find it confusing or don't get what I mean. This is rewrite number 102 lol

Parents
  • Mattyhobs

    i was recently diagnosed with autism/ADHD at the age of 53. I to have found it very hard to deal with. I am going through this self reflection of my entire life. I understand but don’t understand some of the things I have said and done throughout my life. I am not the best communicator and I struggle with social ques.

    Mattyhobs you communicate well and keep it up!  The more you continue to communicate the less of a weakness it is of yours. Having the courage to come on this website and speaking shows that you can socialize. It might be difficult in person through anxiety. That to you can over come with help in in person settings. 

    My struggle has always been social ques and making meaningful relationships with people  I could and still cannot understand where my faults are so I can get better.  At my age I feel it’s to late in the game now to even try.  I have a tendency of fight or flight, and my trust of people is worn thin like the ozone layer.  

    I’m am also married with two wonderful boys who have been diagnosed with autism. My wife I feel is sticking around because of the boys,  She is really just tolerating me until they are old enough to take care of them selfs. I in my mind have my bags already packed (flight mode).  I’m not sure what to do or what to say.  

    This self diagnosis has changed my thinking on things. It’s almost like pushing a reset button on my life  I don’t want her to be burdened with me and my condition as well as the boys. If I decide to fly I don’t want to leave my boys stranded without a father. I am truly torn  

    scooter23

Reply
  • Mattyhobs

    i was recently diagnosed with autism/ADHD at the age of 53. I to have found it very hard to deal with. I am going through this self reflection of my entire life. I understand but don’t understand some of the things I have said and done throughout my life. I am not the best communicator and I struggle with social ques.

    Mattyhobs you communicate well and keep it up!  The more you continue to communicate the less of a weakness it is of yours. Having the courage to come on this website and speaking shows that you can socialize. It might be difficult in person through anxiety. That to you can over come with help in in person settings. 

    My struggle has always been social ques and making meaningful relationships with people  I could and still cannot understand where my faults are so I can get better.  At my age I feel it’s to late in the game now to even try.  I have a tendency of fight or flight, and my trust of people is worn thin like the ozone layer.  

    I’m am also married with two wonderful boys who have been diagnosed with autism. My wife I feel is sticking around because of the boys,  She is really just tolerating me until they are old enough to take care of them selfs. I in my mind have my bags already packed (flight mode).  I’m not sure what to do or what to say.  

    This self diagnosis has changed my thinking on things. It’s almost like pushing a reset button on my life  I don’t want her to be burdened with me and my condition as well as the boys. If I decide to fly I don’t want to leave my boys stranded without a father. I am truly torn  

    scooter23

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