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How to tell your partner your needs?

NAS78181

Hello everyone :)

I am a NT and I have a question about the best way to tell your autstic partner your needs? Should i write to him or say it? How would you prefer your partner tell you their needs. I also wonder how you communicate with your partners? 

Thanks Slight smile

    1. honestly. trying to soften the blow often just create confusion. If there is bad news better to get it over with fast like ripping off a plaster.
    2. As far as is posable don't just say what you want or what you feel is an issue also try to explain why. Reasons and context are very important and you can't assume they are obvious.
    3. Specifically. Don't say 'I don't feel you do enough round the house.' Say, 'I dislike chore X and I feel you should do it more often.' Don't say, 'I feel things are getting boring in bed.' say, 'I want position X.'

  • It probably depends on your partner - does he typically have difficulty in retaining information or feedback verbally? Or are there lots of needs you have that are not being met? If so maybe writing could be helpful. A conversation on the other hand may be beneficial to give him opportunity to respond.

    I have gone down the written route a couple of times with a NT partner as it helped me to construct all of my thoughts and feelings and not miss anything out. I was also able to be very specific and precise with my language which I am often not in a 'realtime' conversation.