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Aged 52 and Stuck

NeilStone1970

Has anyone else ever been completely stuck in their life, and out of ideas about how make things better? I’m 52 and diagnosed with Aspergers by my local NHS Mental Health Team when I was 45. I don’t have any friends and my only relative is my mother (who I live with) who is n’t able (and has never been able) to offer any support.

Problem is the Mental Heath Team did n’t offer any different treatment when they diagnosed me. Neither the NHS treatment (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or any of the other therapies I’ve tried have improved my life at all. Most therapies end up with the therapist saying "why can't you jut do this" or "why can't you just do that" or, worse, give me a lecture on how I have face my fears. Basically grow a pair and just do it. Trouble is, that does n't help me at all. I feel put on, demoralised and definitely not empowered or encouraged. 

I have anxiety about doing most things and feel depressed most of the time. That’s been the case as long as I remember.

I went to an Aspergers Group a couple of weeks ago, but I came away feeling even more depressed. Other people seemed were more confident and did all of the talking, and I just could n’t get into it.

 All the therapists I’ve ever seen just taught me a technique (like CBT) or got me to talk about my childhood and then told me to just get on with it. I need something else, but I don’t know what to call it. Some sort of long-term support I can keep going back to and I can get help for things that other people think are trivial, like the process of making friends, buying things, dealing with generalised anxiety. 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks

Parents

  • Firstly, I know exactly how you feel.

    Secondly however, I feel that you just haven’t accepted yourself, and are still comparing yourself to other people, which will do no good whatsoever. One Autistic person is not like another. 

    Regarding treatment, there isn’t much,.

    You can try 1-1 therapy for social anxiety to help with some social aspects. Other CBT like challenging negative thought patterns can also help a little. If you say you are on the spectrum, there’s always someone available who can adapt the sessions for you. You are allowed to keep referring yourself for help, but sessions only last for 6 or 8 sessions, and you can only have a certain amount each year.

    Look for more groups in your area. Just because you didn’t do well last time, you might get on better with a new bunch of people, or by doing a different activity, rather than sitting around having conversations.

Reply

  • Firstly, I know exactly how you feel.

    Secondly however, I feel that you just haven’t accepted yourself, and are still comparing yourself to other people, which will do no good whatsoever. One Autistic person is not like another. 

    Regarding treatment, there isn’t much,.

    You can try 1-1 therapy for social anxiety to help with some social aspects. Other CBT like challenging negative thought patterns can also help a little. If you say you are on the spectrum, there’s always someone available who can adapt the sessions for you. You are allowed to keep referring yourself for help, but sessions only last for 6 or 8 sessions, and you can only have a certain amount each year.

    Look for more groups in your area. Just because you didn’t do well last time, you might get on better with a new bunch of people, or by doing a different activity, rather than sitting around having conversations.

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