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ASD and understanding flirting

Catlady31

Hi everyone, back again as I'm still overthinking my son's first assessment appointment.  He is 19.

One of the questions asked was 'Do you know when someone is flirting with you?.  I could tell he was a bit embarrassed by being asked even though he had a covid face mask on - his eyes altered and he moved a bit in his chair.  He shifted in his seat and replied 'yes I do' then hastily said 'because it has happened to me and I knew'.

I really don't know if he's telling the truth here or whether he was embarrassed so said this because he thinks he should know and didn't want her to think he didn't (I don't know he has this thought process).  I could be completely wrong with this, but I thought ASD made you struggle alot with knowing when someone is flirting or can it be easier for some than others?.

I wish this was all over, it's driving me insane as I keep going over his responses in my head. 

Thank you for your thoughts.

Parents

  • I am a 40-something male with Aspergers, FTR.

    I'm the opposite, I don't understand flirting.  I can emulate it, but I don't pick up on subtle hints and can be completely oblivious.

    But if I was outright asked about it, aged 18, I would have made myself out as a master, although the truth would be very far from that.

    My guess is he maybe gets the basics, but whether he can functionally do it in real life is very 50/50.  The proof would be if he has a girlfriend/boyfriend or has had several.

    Being honest to yourself about yourself is something many seem to find hard.  Admitting you suck at something is even harder, especially at that age.

    Saying that it isn't something you can easily teach.  It's an experiment type thing that requires a person to do it, to learn it.  Watching films and tv only takes you so far.

  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    But if I was outright asked about it, aged 18, I would have made myself out as a master, although the truth would be very far from that.

    Thanks -pathfinder

    Do do you think the assessor will see this then?  Or might  they think he is not not on the spectrum by him reacting this way and saying and acting as though he does recognise it?  I wish I knew what they were looking for in asking this question.

    Thank you again. 

Reply
  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    But if I was outright asked about it, aged 18, I would have made myself out as a master, although the truth would be very far from that.

    Thanks -pathfinder

    Do do you think the assessor will see this then?  Or might  they think he is not not on the spectrum by him reacting this way and saying and acting as though he does recognise it?  I wish I knew what they were looking for in asking this question.

    Thank you again. 

Children
  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    Thank you.  When replying, he hesitated a little before saying yes and shifted in his seat before adding he knew because it has happened to him. 

    I think the lady was a Community Nurse so that's why I'm also worried as I thought a Pyschologist would be iinvolved. It is being done through the Adult Autism NHS Services though so I'm pretty sure it is all done correctly.  His next Appointment is with an Occupational Therapist.

    Thanks again.

  • in reply to Catlady31

    The assessor will probably see through any embarrased response very quickly. When they assess they ask the same questions, phrased differently, but repeatedly.  So the flirting question would get asked again, but it will be phrased differently.  Most psychologists do this sort of thing day in and day out, they are experts at it.  So don't worry about it.

    If anything I think him saying he does, might make it look more like he doesn't.  It all depends on how he said it and how many non-verbal tells he exhibited that might suggest otherwise.