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Making Social Mistakes

NAS77895

Young Adult 

I am at that age where i meet up and friends drink. I don’t drink. There are relationships, very close friends but ‘not in a relationship’ and ‘single but we kiss’ all around me.

Every time I go out with ‘friends’ I do or say something wrong. Every time, without fail. I feel so stupid. I have to apologise to someone, or I have to be told to stop (when doing something). I don’t do it on purpose, and I don’t realise what I am doing is wrong. When I learn what I have done is wrong, I apologise and apologise. I don’t meant to do it, I would never intentionally do it. I alway seem to leave the meet up feeling stupid and horrible, like I’ve ruined the good time. Know else cares and they are never angry at me. But I worry and worry and worry and worry about it for days. It never leave and these things just build up. 

I know that people are dying, people have suffering, climate change is going to kill us and what I am going through isn’t a big deal. I have said ‘I’ so much, everything is always about me.

I went through a phase (about three years) when I got extremely lonely because I stopped talking to people. It made me very ill (physically and mentally). I have just begun recovering from that but things like this just make me want to give up.

I hate myself and I don’t want to leave my bedroom. 

  • Don't give up, Find other like yourself and dominate the world. i know its hard but the only people who's opinions matter are the one who accept you unconditionally and yourself. if your worried about being rejected or embarrassing yourself and being humiliated in front of your friends then their not your friends  

  • I understand that it is something we often do to go over and over something we have done wrong and feel bad about it. It is hard to not do this. My husband tells me I don't need to keep apologizing as I feel bad when something goes wrong. You say that no one else is bothered about it. That is good. 

    I have recently tried to think of something at the end of each day that went well or I am good at. See if you can do that when something goes wrong.

    Also are there any things you enjoy doing on your own. If so try to do something you enjoy alone that you can feel good about. ( For me it is sewing or gardening). Or listen to music or watch a good drama on TV 

  • Don't be too hard for making mistakes, mistakes happen and everybody makes them. Doesn't matter how old you are. Everyone makes mistakes so be kind to yourself.

    Don't give up. Your doing well. Take baby steps and your get there.

  • Well I do similar things, and I don't like drinking either. 

    I used to apologize profusely as well. I learned to not do that, even though it was a well ingrained habit of mine. When you do something wrong, you can apologize once (or twice), but then ask how they would do something, ask how they would approach it, what steps would they take, and just discuss about it, and you'll find that most people will be willing to help you. Don't hold so much hate in yourself for doing something wrong. You're only human.