upon rethinking, i have started to question whether i truly do have ASD or not.
perhaps its just that my upbringing and life and how i was treated by others has instead gave me a life and similarities close to that of people with ASD, but perhaps it isnt mental illness but instead due to life and how things went. my parents were very secure and controlling so they never let me go out at all while other kids could go out and play with each other, which ofcourse would have contributed to me being this way. when you seperate a kid like that at that development phase ofcourse they are going to grow up somewhat similar to a person with autism, but it is perhaps not due to mental illness in my case but due to upbringing. then ofcourse in school never having developed to be around and play with other kids i could never fit in and thus was the weird one and got the isolation the same as a kid with ASD. which then lead to bullying and being outcast which ofcourse would make me feel this way. but maybe after all its not a mental illness but lifestyle and upbringing.
ofcourse i feel i have problems, maybe lifestyle developes mental illness issues. but upon thinking i feel that BPD kinda suits how my mind works. i did say before i mainly only feel the emotions of extreme anger and extreme sadness and some unfeeling uncaring dead nothing between. which is pretty much BPD when i read on it. which can be caused by lifestyle/upbringing like i had and also explain my aggressive attitude some of you may have seen before lol
so im open to being wrong about my initial guesstimate of ASD and wouldnt mind about it. to be fair its not that hard to be wrong when you browse and see all the different mental issues have pretty much the exact same symptoms. almost like the mental health research is still in its early phase and not anywhere near accurate enough to properly make correct distinctions between every possibility.
