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Adult Female with ASD

Oscie

Hello there,

I have an issue that I wanted to ask other mature females with ASD. I am in my late fifties. I have some of the classic signs of autism for as long as I can remember. However, over the decades I have 'tweaked' them to appear like everyone else. This is now working against me, as at my ASD assessment the assessor said she thought that I just have a sensory disorder, but that doesn't explain all the other issues mainly with communication that I have. I tried to be as authentic as possible, but I am concerned now that the masking has left it's mark so well, that it almost feels part of me without me being aware. I am worried about being under diagnosed, especially as she mentioned the lack of services!

I am not too sure what to do about this, any advice would be welcomed.

Parents

  • To some degree, everyone 'masks'. But with NT, it's intuitive and curates a positive reward in their neurological reward/power centre. For autistics it's draining and creates resentment. 

    Now in my late 40's, I have gone out of my way to work out the difference between good boundaries vs abuse. To learn structures and reasonings to discipline my core being so whatever submerged conscious self I can find and become aware of, might be in synch with my words/actions. I'm far from perfecting this, but I do appreciate the reward of wisdom, grounded ethics and principles and kindness. Protecting my vulnerable 'core being' is a part of this. It is intentional and not masking as I don't owe my authenticity to anyone nor is it mature or intelligent to walk around with one's insides exposed! LOL

    These are good markers I personally like living by.  They help me invest in a few good friends and protect my friendships/ relationships. They are human-friendly so they seem to work for both Autistic and NT individuals. 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you for this, very grounding. I have got better at protecting my vulnerable core over the years, mostly out of necessity, as I have been bullied more than once. I am a tad wary of NTs, for obvious reasons but my husband is NT and great, so some can be good!

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