When I was doing my application for University, I wanted to put that I was on the waitlist for an Autism assessment but I hadn't been diagnosed yet and that I have panic attacks and have dyslexic tendencies but I wasn't sure how to write it into words because you only get a certain amount of characters you're allowed to use (I can't remember the number but it wasn't a lot). I told her what I was struggling with and asked her if she could help me. When I told her what I wanted to get across in my message, she said that she was talking to some of the other staff in the staff room and they agreed that "everyone struggles with these things a little, everyone has some autistic traits" ( I can't remember the exact wording but it was something like that). After she said that I remember thinking that that wasn't how it worked, but I didn't know how to respond so I just said: "yeah" (that is what I default to when I am uncomfortable and don't know what to say).
Every time I think about this conversation, it makes me so angry because she just dismissed all my feelings in 2 seconds. I used to feel like I could tell her when I was struggling but now that trust is broken. I also feel sad and guilty that I didn't stand up for myself. I knew what she said was wrong and I just let her say it. When I think about her saying that, I usually zone out of whatever I am doing and feel all those emotions again. I don't have anyone I can talk to anywhere. Not at college, not at home. I really feel like I would benefit from having a therapist or someone like that to talk to that I know won't judge. I do talk to a mental health officer at college but I won't be there next year so I will be back to having no one to talk to, and since I will be going to university (hopefully), I will be on my own. I am hoping that there will be someone I can talk to at the universities and see if there is any support or something they can offer me while I am there.
