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Teacher said "everyone is a little autistic"

Abigail

When I was doing my application for University, I wanted to put that I was on the waitlist for an Autism assessment but I hadn't been diagnosed yet and that I have panic attacks and have dyslexic tendencies but I wasn't sure how to write it into words because you only get a certain amount of characters you're allowed to use (I can't remember the number but it wasn't a lot). I told her what I was struggling with and asked her if she could help me. When I told her what I wanted to get across in my message, she said that she was talking to some of the other staff in the staff room and they agreed that "everyone struggles with these things a little, everyone has some autistic traits" ( I can't remember the exact wording but it was something like that). After she said that I remember thinking that that wasn't how it worked, but I didn't know how to respond so I just said: "yeah" (that is what I default to when I am uncomfortable and don't know what to say).

 

Every time I think about this conversation, it makes me so angry because she just dismissed all my feelings in 2 seconds. I used to feel like I could tell her when I was struggling but now that trust is broken. I also feel sad and guilty that I didn't stand up for myself. I knew what she said was wrong and I just let her say it. When I think about her saying that, I usually zone out of whatever I am doing and feel all those emotions again. I don't have anyone I can talk to anywhere. Not at college, not at home. I really feel like I would benefit from having a therapist or someone like that to talk to that I know won't judge. I do talk to a mental health officer at college but I won't be there next year so I will be back to having no one to talk to, and since I will be going to university (hopefully), I will be on my own. I am hoping that there will be someone I can talk to at the universities and see if there is any support or something they can offer me while I am there.

  • in reply to Fibonacci Squid

    I am going on the open days for the universities and 2 of them have replied. One of them said I should apply for DSA and the other one said they'd be happy to talk to me at the open day and see what they are able to do. I am hoping I will be able to all to all of them in person. It's just so stressful with the waiting.

  • Clearly your teacher isn't "a little autistic". That is such an NT thing to say.

  • Wow. Ignorant, unhelpful, and incorrect. A hattrick. 

    Teachers often talk a lot about things that they have little to no information or experience on. Clearly that is what has happened here. 

    I'm sure that the uni will have some form of mental health support, and I recommend looking at the unis website where it will probably have some kind of link to their disability team who you might want to email/call to talk about it. 

    Also those forms suck and I know exactly what you mean by the lack of space to explain anything faintly complex

  • Hi, I really thought the teaching profession had moved on.  This sort of attitude belongs in the history books. No we aren’t all a little bit autistic, yes we all have some traits but that doesn’t make everyone autistic. The teacher invalidating what you told her doesn’t  stop you being autistic. What does she even know about autism. Is there any sort of pastoral care that you can talk to?

    sorry to rant,  this just makes me so angry.

  • Oh Abigail, that sounds tough. It is very difficult to convey everything that you are dealing with when the other person is neurotypical. I had a similar experience at my ASD assessment recently. I wonder how many people are not diagnosed, because they are unable to say how they truly feel, it is worrying. That is why as a community it is important to stick together and fight for eachother. Find what works for you to get the message across, perhaps an email or letter? :)

  • My boss said almost the exact same thing to me the other day. I also just responded 'yeah' because I just didn't know what else to say and it caught me completely by surprise. It's so ignorant. The attitude really trivialises the struggles NDs go through trying to deal with a NT world. 

  • That's so annoying and exactly the attitude that a lot of people have, they don't realise the effect their words have precisely because they are not 'a little autistic'

  • id just ignore them. they have a problem with ignorance and lack of empathy which they are obviously struggling through themselves and we cant understand. but it means they dont and wont be able to understand your position and will be of no help or comfort or understanding.

    its same with everything really... i have some sort of condition that seems to make me alergic to the cold, it maybe reynaurds as suspected or it maybe anything else as the docs didnt truly do their job right in confirming or diagnosing, lazy NHS lol could be diabetes for all i know as thats got circulatory issues... but anyways i feel the cold more, and at work they make out everyone feels the cold too.... like, they dont understand that what i mean is i feel it more and i can get frostbite in 10 degrees celcius while everyone else needs to be at like -50 celcius for that effect in the cold. hell i was sat at home yesterday and my toes were numb, some were white and my larger toe was black, but if i mention to anyone i cant handle the cold as much as a normal person theyd think its bull and think i feel the cold the same as they do and we are the same, when were not.

    people always have this lack of empathy, lack of feeling that others maybe different and may feel the world differently to them. you cannot fix their ignorance though.