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Should I seek a diagnosis?

ClaireH

Hi,

I'm 32yo female who has struggled with 'normal' life for as long as I can remember. My entire life I was labelled as shy and a daydreamer and coasted through school being nearly invisible to all those around me. When I started working and things got worse I was treated for anxiety which didn't work. Then I was treated for depression which didn't work. Then I was told I have a social anxiety disorder and was treated for that, but that also didn't really help. Nothing I was told felt right to me. I didn't feel they fit with my experiences and definitely didn't explain everything I struggled with. Then my ex started volunteering at a youth group for ADHD/ASD kids and contacted me as he felt he saw many similarities between myself and the kids he was working with. And so I began reading about autism and ADHD and it felt so relatable that it quickly has become an obsession. I want to know everything! 

I've taken many of the online tests recommended. My results:

AQ-10 scored 32/7 

AQ-50 scored 39 

RAADS-R scored 180 

I am still uncertain however ... I have my mother echoing in my brain "There's nothing wrong with you, everyone struggles. You just have to get on with." Having had so many unsatisfactory experiences with diagnosis and doctors I'm feeling terrified of trying to seek an autism diagnosis but I am really struggling to the point I can't see a future (even though I want one!) I'm also concerned about confirmation bias while I'm researching, questioning if it is true how could it have been missed for so long and 'jumping on the tiktok bandwagon' but the little bits I have learnt, and implemented into my life have helped so I feel like a diagnosis would finally be an answer and a way to deal with the future. So for the waffle. If anyone has any advice it would be hugely appreciated.

Parents

  • Hi, from what you have said, I would seek a diagnosis. I’m just starting the process at 54. My mother is 75 and I hade the,   “ you don’t look autistic, autistic people don’t talk and stare at the wall.” I can remember a lot of my pre school life and knew I was different then. My wife has been with me since I was a teenager. She can apparently help with my diagnosis. I personally treat my mother as a hostile witness. I’ve been masking for so long that a lot of my traits I thought just normal. My wife has pointed out things like, I never shower and only bath, I then realised that I hate water spraying on my face, it’s like acid rain, I never walk anywhere with bare feet, not even indoor,I hate it. All things that I never noticed.

    I’ve got school reports that just repeat, quiet, doesn’t join in doesn’t make his presence felt in class. Do you have any school reports, they could help. I know the issue with a parent report can be worked around especially if non are surviving. Could you ex fill in some of the blanks, he’s obviously noticed something about you.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

Reply

  • Hi, from what you have said, I would seek a diagnosis. I’m just starting the process at 54. My mother is 75 and I hade the,   “ you don’t look autistic, autistic people don’t talk and stare at the wall.” I can remember a lot of my pre school life and knew I was different then. My wife has been with me since I was a teenager. She can apparently help with my diagnosis. I personally treat my mother as a hostile witness. I’ve been masking for so long that a lot of my traits I thought just normal. My wife has pointed out things like, I never shower and only bath, I then realised that I hate water spraying on my face, it’s like acid rain, I never walk anywhere with bare feet, not even indoor,I hate it. All things that I never noticed.

    I’ve got school reports that just repeat, quiet, doesn’t join in doesn’t make his presence felt in class. Do you have any school reports, they could help. I know the issue with a parent report can be worked around especially if non are surviving. Could you ex fill in some of the blanks, he’s obviously noticed something about you.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

Children
  • in reply to Roy

    Thank you for your response, it sounds very similar to what I have experienced. I believe I do have old reports somewhere so I'll dig those out to take with me. I hadn't thought of asking my ex to help filling bits in so that's also helpful. Everyone's responses have really helped my confidence with this, it's amazing what a difference it makes knowing you aren't alone in your experiences.