Published on 12, July, 2020
Just curious about people who slipped through the net, so to speak. How did you cope with school? I developed quite good ways of hiding how much i struggled. It helped that i was in most of the bottom sets, as no one really cared back then. I was in the top set for biology, i excelled in that area. Nothing else part from sport. I hated going in every day, i was like a zombie....i literally cant remember my last year in school. Ive blanked it out completely.
Hated and feared school. Didn't do very well at Infant School, being selectively mute from time to time doesn't help. At Junior School I did considerably better, after a slow start. Academically, I was fairly bright, my blind spots were spelling and a total inability to do mental arithmetic. My spelling is now fairly good, but I still can't do mental arithmetic for toffee and I have long ago forgotten the times-tables I agonised over in learning. I was fairly often targeted for bullying, but it always fizzled out after a very short time. I wasn't an attractive candidate as a victim, as I usually had at least a couple of friends, so I wasn't entirely isolated. Also, I always ignored threats and instructions, because, though I lacked self-confidence, I always had a well-developed sense of how I should be treated, and, if pushed too far, I would fight back.
At senior school we had corporal punishment, which increased my anxiety hugely. I was never strapped - thick leather straps about a foot long, specially manufactured for hitting children, if you can believe - but through luck in addition to being as compliant as I could possibly be. I was reasonably successful in academic subjects but PE was a nightmare - ball games? Team games? Team ball games?? Yes, I suffered being the last in the 'choosing teams nightmare'. Since PE teachers have probably not evolved as much as the rest of humanity, it is probably unfair to expect them to know, or feel guilt over, what appalling torture they callously put less sporty children through.
In the end I got 9 'O' levels and stayed on for the 6th form. The 6th form was marginally better - no threat of the strap, being treated as a human being, smaller classes, ditching the potential bullies etc. Finished with 4 'A' levels and got the school prize for the best results (2 years after a woman who later became a Labour MP won it). Then went on to do 3 degrees and a career in academia, conducting scientific research.
On the surface, I did well in the education system, but I loathed school. I would become so anxious on many school mornings that I was often in physical pain from stomach cramps. I think most schools are hellish places for autistic children.