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Coping with loneliness

Kj

I just wanted to see if anyone struggles with this as I do?

I'm 35 and I have no family whatsoever (difficult childhood) except my 2 children, I have no partner and no friends as I seem unable to maintain any friendships due to my lack of social skills and understanding and I just feel so alone in this world that I don't understand and feel alien in!! I have a part time job but other than work, the school run and walking my puppy, I don't go out. I feel like such a failure and a bad example to my children (my eldest is also autistic) and keep obsessing about how alone they would be if anything happened to me as I have no family to support them when I'm gone.

I have no one I can talk to about being autistic as the only other person I know who has autism, is my 15 Yr old daughter but I'm supporting her and caring for her.

Maybe I just needed to vent and get this off my chest but I feel like I've become invisible. I used to take pride in my appearance but now I care but don't see the point so make no effort. My children must be embarrassed to be seen with me, poor things. 

It just feels like the world is so big and everyone else knows how to navigate their way around and have people around them to help and Im just lost, on my own Pensive

Parents

  • It breaks my heart that there are so many lonely people with ASD. 

    It seems that if you were to rank the (many) negative traits of ASD, then lack of social skills has to be somewhere near the top. So much of the anxiety and depression we all suffer is either due to lack of contact with other people, or anxiety about that contact. 

    Social contact is one of the main things to help with depression and anxiety and it is the one skill we all seem to lack.

  • in reply to Paul
    Paul said:
    Social contact is one of the main things to help with depression and anxiety and it is the one skill we all seem to lack.

    You're exactly right. Humans are social creatures who thrive on physical and emotional stimulation. Also where did the common misconception of 'people with asd are happy being on their own/not having any friends' come from? My daughter is 15 and has only just, in the last year or so, made friends at school. Before that EVERY break and lunchtime were spent alone and she still gets upset thinking about it now. The school never did anything because she wasn't 'actively bullied'?! 

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  • in reply to Paul
    Paul said:
    Social contact is one of the main things to help with depression and anxiety and it is the one skill we all seem to lack.

    You're exactly right. Humans are social creatures who thrive on physical and emotional stimulation. Also where did the common misconception of 'people with asd are happy being on their own/not having any friends' come from? My daughter is 15 and has only just, in the last year or so, made friends at school. Before that EVERY break and lunchtime were spent alone and she still gets upset thinking about it now. The school never did anything because she wasn't 'actively bullied'?! 

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