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Using Autism as an excuse

Magnolia1

My family are cross with me as they say that since I was diagnosed I am using my autism as an excuse not to change my behaviour and that am doing things now that I wouldn't have  done before and "blaming" it in on my autism. 

I don't know how to deal with this information. Do I need to pretend that I am not autistic and go back to masking and hiding who I really am? Do I need to act as if I never got a diagnosis and not mention my autism ever again? 

My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because  now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.

I really don't know what I am supposed to do this information or what I should do about it!

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?

I feel like no-one is willing to accept me as I am and everyone is fed up with me being autsistic!

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  • Magnolia1 said:
    Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?

    Once but that was mostly from crossed wires, the person who accused me didn't realise the behaviour wasn't malicious it just got out of even my control. We resolved it in the end.

    Also once "out" to people as autistic it's very difficult often impossible to put that genie back in the bottle with people who already know, and actually going back to full masking after coming out  and unmasking is too often just fuel for their confirmation bias that you can "be normal if you just try hard enough" or "see you were just faking it to be special all along". (Allist very often sadly also = *sshole.)


    Magnolia1 said:
    My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because  now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.


    I would calmly explain to him all the times you have changed (and you will have because people do over time) and to remember that you have been autistic all along.

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  • Magnolia1 said:
    Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?

    Once but that was mostly from crossed wires, the person who accused me didn't realise the behaviour wasn't malicious it just got out of even my control. We resolved it in the end.

    Also once "out" to people as autistic it's very difficult often impossible to put that genie back in the bottle with people who already know, and actually going back to full masking after coming out  and unmasking is too often just fuel for their confirmation bias that you can "be normal if you just try hard enough" or "see you were just faking it to be special all along". (Allist very often sadly also = *sshole.)


    Magnolia1 said:
    My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because  now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.


    I would calmly explain to him all the times you have changed (and you will have because people do over time) and to remember that you have been autistic all along.

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