Published on 12, July, 2020
My family are cross with me as they say that since I was diagnosed I am using my autism as an excuse not to change my behaviour and that am doing things now that I wouldn't have done before and "blaming" it in on my autism.
I don't know how to deal with this information. Do I need to pretend that I am not autistic and go back to masking and hiding who I really am? Do I need to act as if I never got a diagnosis and not mention my autism ever again?
My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.
I really don't know what I am supposed to do this information or what I should do about it!
Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?
I feel like no-one is willing to accept me as I am and everyone is fed up with me being autsistic!
I have the same problem. My 20 year old daughter was diagnosed at the same time as me - the day after, in fact. She gets a lot of support from the rest of the family, including me. This is not the case for me, I feel that I cannot be functionally autistic. If I say I have problems with certain things, it is usually not taken seriously. Blaming my autism for anything, results in me being accused of using it as an excuse, even my autistic daughter does this. I can see that I have a lifetime of coping behind me, often at great cost to my internal wellbeing, and that it might be difficult for them to now make allowances, but it is disappointing nonetheless.
NTs can’t differentiate immaturity from autism. If you can point out their lack of priorities, boundaries and ethics, you’ll be able to help them understand you’re not looking to be bothersome but respectful. Of Everyone- Myself included.