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Using Autism as an excuse

Magnolia1

My family are cross with me as they say that since I was diagnosed I am using my autism as an excuse not to change my behaviour and that am doing things now that I wouldn't have  done before and "blaming" it in on my autism. 

I don't know how to deal with this information. Do I need to pretend that I am not autistic and go back to masking and hiding who I really am? Do I need to act as if I never got a diagnosis and not mention my autism ever again? 

My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because  now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.

I really don't know what I am supposed to do this information or what I should do about it!

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?

I feel like no-one is willing to accept me as I am and everyone is fed up with me being autsistic!

Parents

  • I think an important word here is 'excuse' because it implies that something is 'wrong' or there is 'blame'. I don't see autism as an excuse for doing or not doing things - I see it as a reason we do or don't do them.

    I find masking helps me fit in and cope in the moment, but it is bad for my mental health later on. So, I think it's good that you are opening up to your family. But, the few times I have opened up and let myself be autistic since my diagnoses I got the same negative response from people around me that it always did (which is why I mask in the first place).

    Your family might not realise that you have been the one making changes all along (though masking and hiding) and the changes that they might have to make now might have a really positive effect on your mental well-being and ability to cope. Maybe if they understand that they will not react so badly.

  • in reply to Tonik

    That's  good way of thinking of it.

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