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Using Autism as an excuse

Magnolia1

My family are cross with me as they say that since I was diagnosed I am using my autism as an excuse not to change my behaviour and that am doing things now that I wouldn't have  done before and "blaming" it in on my autism. 

I don't know how to deal with this information. Do I need to pretend that I am not autistic and go back to masking and hiding who I really am? Do I need to act as if I never got a diagnosis and not mention my autism ever again? 

My husband says that he feels like he is the only one expected to change in our relationship because  now I am autistic it means that I have an excuse not to have to make any changes.

I really don't know what I am supposed to do this information or what I should do about it!

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on what I should do?

I feel like no-one is willing to accept me as I am and everyone is fed up with me being autsistic!

Parents

  • See this is the thing that annoys me. You don't get this with physical disabilities. You don't get people saying, 'oh they just use being in a wheelchair as an excuse to not do this or that.' Why shouldn't autism be an excuse? Why should you be expected to change things you can't change or do things that cause you undue suffering?

    Loving and including people with autism includes accepting there are somethings they struggle with to the point where you need to modify your expectations of them.

Reply

  • See this is the thing that annoys me. You don't get this with physical disabilities. You don't get people saying, 'oh they just use being in a wheelchair as an excuse to not do this or that.' Why shouldn't autism be an excuse? Why should you be expected to change things you can't change or do things that cause you undue suffering?

    Loving and including people with autism includes accepting there are somethings they struggle with to the point where you need to modify your expectations of them.

Children
  • in reply to Peter

    The mind is plastic to some degree, the body isn't (prosthetics aside).  I am not prepared to accept that I can't change how I react. how I cope with events or how I deal with situations.  If we can change anything within ourselves, it's how we think or deal with ideas and concepts - that's what learning is about.

    It is possible to change and see life from a different perspective, it might be hard but it is possible.