How and where did you meet your partner?

Thank you so much, that's really kind of you to say.

Ah thanks!

I'm also enjoying seeing everyone's stories here :)

Paul said:

want to give you all a big hug

Thanks for your post.  That's what I miss the most.  A hug from a guy who I know loves me and supports me. I am happy in that I've experienced that in the past but am sad that I don't experience it in the here and now.  I know what you mean about the general "loneliness" vibe of the forum.  I too am sending hugs or warm vibes if hugs would be an overwhelming thing for some people.  It's good we're connected by our loneliness.  This forum has really helped me on many levels and for that I am very thankful.

I am a bit overwhelmed by how much loneliness there is on this forum.  It is so sad and I wish I could do more to help all you lonely people out there - I want to give you all a big hug and tell you that you are not alone.  For many years before I met my wife, I was in that pit of loneliness and it is hard to see when it is going to end sometimes.

I have tried many forums in the past and never stuck at them - same old problems of keeping in touch.  However I feel such affiliation to so many people here and it is so nice to know that there is support here if and when you need it.

Buz89 said:

Plenty of fish then we started talking on instagram

A good start and long may it continue.

Ninjamelody said:

still a lot to learn.

You are on the journey together and the fact you see there is a lot to learn keeps it fresh and exciting. :-)

Plenty of fish then we started talking on instagram  

Uplifting, real-world story, warts and all, with some pragmatic truths. Your kids, when they arrive, will have struck the parental jackpot, I reckon. 

rosemarycait said:

I feel immensely lucky to have met my husband

Your post was so lovely to read.  Thank you for posting. :-)

Paul said:

This thread has produced some lovely warm feelings

This was my hope when I created the post as I was going through another period of loneliness in my singledom...

Emily said:

partner as well one day

I think it's a positive thing to look forward to having.  I too am single which I love sometimes but most of the time I find it lonely.... :-(

1- I love his kindness and generosity towards me and everyone in his life. I love his sensitivity and patience, and his commitment to family. I also love his dorky, nerdy side.

2- We met on Plenty of Fish of all places... Our first date was at a Wetherspoons. Yikes. I deliberately dressed down and wore no makeup because I wanted him to see me as he'd see me every day, not in 'date mode'. He wore a new ironed shirt that was far too small for him, and fancy shoes. I ran over to him and hugged him. I also fell down the stairs at one point. I had to explain that yes, all I ate was chicken nuggets and I liked it that way.  Bet he didn't think this was his future wife.

3- I don't really experience physical attraction to people I'm not really close to. I am demisexual so it took a while before I experienced attraction to him physically, but I did notice his lovely smile when we met in person for the first time. In terms of personality, it was his manners and gentleman-like behaviour! He had a 'leader' quality about him, I immediately felt safe and accepted in his presence. It was nice.

4- Only in the way that a new relationship can take over your life (in a good way!) I found it hard to gage how much contact we should have (in the beginning) and how much we should message/talk. I struggled to process and deal with intense feelings of love which I'd never experienced before meeting him.

5- 7.5 years. We've been together since I was 18 and he was 23. We're happily married and planning a family. :)

6- It has had its easy and challenging times over the years, but it's pretty good. We actually broke up for a while about 3 years in, because our communication had gone down the toilet and I was totally burnt out. We're in a constant learning process, and since finding out I may be autistic, a lot of things are starting to make sense and we've doubled down on our efforts to understand each other.

I feel immensely lucky to have met my husband.

I totally agree.

This thread has produced some lovely warm feelings.  As has been said, no marriage is perfect all the time but with work and effort it can be very fulfilling and life affirming.  Knowing someone is there for you and who, in turn, relies on you is a wonderful thing.

No partner for me :( But I have enjoyed reading about yours. It's sweet. Hopefully I'll have a partner as well one day

We suffered a lot during these years and there's still a lot to learn. I'm pretty lost on what "good" communication is like anymore, most of the time I had no idea if there's something I should have told her beforehand.

SallyCinnamon said:

It's a work in progress!

Love it!! Thanks for sharing. :-)

Hello, 

• He is very kind and patient and is very tactile. 
• We met online. 
• He is handsome and has kind eyes.
• I think he was initially but.. 
• We've been together almost 7 years, not so much my special interest now Ha!
• We communicate very well (most of the time). It's a work in progress!

X

PersonAnon said:

'Play Misty For Me'.

Yes, the reality is that relationships take work and commitment from both partners.  Perhaps the beginning feels like rainbows and fairytales but ultimately it's when folks can work through their baggage together as a team, that's precious and special.

I understand what you mean about the Glen Close and Clint Eastwood depiction of an obsessive relationship and I love that film.  The first time I saw it, I knew there was trouble brewing when his character was naive enough to think he could have "a bit on the side" without emotional entanglement.  I didn't anticipate that what happened would be as dark though and I still find it a disturbing but strangely fascinating movie!

We all have our past and ongoing challenges but I feel that finding someone who is willing and able to go on that journey with us makes life so much more meaningful. :-)

No marriage is all violins and violets, but I'm very lucky, and very aware of that.

Not a cliche: I'm lucky and I know that.  Nothing is all perfection, but it's whether you can deal with difficulties together that counts.  

40 years on I still think she's beautiful, incredible and amazing, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

We've covered a lot of ground, together, geographically and in every other sense, and we're a pretty good team.

Yes, remain hopeful, H. It ain't easy.  My wife had a failed marriage, and I'd come out of a truly horrible relationship that was slightly reminiscent of the 70s Clint Eastwood movie 'Play Misty For Me'. She didn't try to murder me (in the movie, Jessica Walters' character tries to kill Eastwood's), but ... well, stuff happened.  Nowadays I'd be taking out restraining orders and the word 'stalking' would be used.  

So it took a while to get it right.