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Doubt

Catlover

My second appointment is looming and I’m full of doubt. I am talking myself out of the possibility of being Autistic. I don’t want to post here anymore, and I have been trying to find other causes for my issues. I’m still going over the first testing session repeatedly. I’m so angry that I forgot basic things that we should all know. I don’t feel I performed very well. And I’m not happy that I think I was being observed at the time. I only realised this after attending.


Today, I delved further into understanding Dyspraxia, that my daughter has. Reading through the huge list of symptoms (that I didn’t know existed), I find many that apply to me. Perhaps it’s just that that I have. I feel like I’m wasting my money on this assessment. Weary 

Parents

  • This must be so hard for you. But listen to something you just said: your daughter has dyspraxia! Dyspraxia is another form of neurodivergence related to and on the same gene set as dyslexia, dyscalcula, hyperlexia, ADHD, tourette's, a host of other things and AUTISM!!!

    My grand father was born in 1895. He was a highly intelligent man whose mental arithmetic was s**t hot, politically aware, could argue the proverbial hind legs off the most eloquent and logical of donkeys and could tell you all the Latin names of the plants he won prizes for growing. But YET, no matter how hard the school system, my aunts, my grandmother tried to teach him to read, he couldn't do it. It was like he was "trying backwards", they said. No one knew about neurodivergence of any kind in 1895, and little more was known by 1973, when he died.

    So many of his descendants (and we are many) have one form of neurodivergence or another. I have uncles and cousins who are dyslexic (me too), dyspraxic and/or autistic. 

    Your daughter got those glorious genes from somewhere. Maybe you are Autistic, maybe you are dyspraxic. Maybe you are both! But something took you to the door of this assessment process....something in you feels something is different. Something in you wants to know what that something is.

    My advice: relax. Go. Give them everything whether you think it argues for or or against Autism. Tell them your concerns about dyspraxia. And let them judge. Let them introduce you to you. Even if "only dyspraxia" is their verdict, it still means you aren't neurotypical and it still means this assessment has the potential to make your life a shed load easier going forward.

    Oh, and you don't have to "perform" well, or any which way for this to help you. Just be you. Just you.

    All the best to you :-) x

Reply

  • This must be so hard for you. But listen to something you just said: your daughter has dyspraxia! Dyspraxia is another form of neurodivergence related to and on the same gene set as dyslexia, dyscalcula, hyperlexia, ADHD, tourette's, a host of other things and AUTISM!!!

    My grand father was born in 1895. He was a highly intelligent man whose mental arithmetic was s**t hot, politically aware, could argue the proverbial hind legs off the most eloquent and logical of donkeys and could tell you all the Latin names of the plants he won prizes for growing. But YET, no matter how hard the school system, my aunts, my grandmother tried to teach him to read, he couldn't do it. It was like he was "trying backwards", they said. No one knew about neurodivergence of any kind in 1895, and little more was known by 1973, when he died.

    So many of his descendants (and we are many) have one form of neurodivergence or another. I have uncles and cousins who are dyslexic (me too), dyspraxic and/or autistic. 

    Your daughter got those glorious genes from somewhere. Maybe you are Autistic, maybe you are dyspraxic. Maybe you are both! But something took you to the door of this assessment process....something in you feels something is different. Something in you wants to know what that something is.

    My advice: relax. Go. Give them everything whether you think it argues for or or against Autism. Tell them your concerns about dyspraxia. And let them judge. Let them introduce you to you. Even if "only dyspraxia" is their verdict, it still means you aren't neurotypical and it still means this assessment has the potential to make your life a shed load easier going forward.

    Oh, and you don't have to "perform" well, or any which way for this to help you. Just be you. Just you.

    All the best to you :-) x

Children
  • in reply to Dawn

    Thank you Dawn. I wasn’t feeling too great when I posted.

    My daughter is Autistic, with ADHD and Dyspraxia, and I have other diagnosed relatives. I suspect my son is on the spectrum, and my mum has recently self diagnosed, following on from my own journey.

    I know these things cross over a lot, so I guess time will tell. The whole thing is stressing me out the closer it gets Weary