Weird but important interests

Since i was a child i had a preference to white noise and the noise of fans, hair dryers, air conditioners, vacuum cleaners, heaters, thunderstorm, wind, meditation music and choral music.

I hear YouTube videos with these sounds everyday most of the time even when i am sleeping, even now.

These sounds make me feel more safe, secure, relaxed and calms my triggers

I like to discover new channels or videos about these sounds.

Summer is my favorite because i turn on the fan and except the sound i feel its air too and i shivering wonderfully.

This happens also when i hear these noises on youtube and i love it when it happens.

I thought it was only an interest at first but now i believe it's something more.

It's important for me to hear these sounds everyday to feel relaxed and secure.

It helps me express myself more without suspensions.

If i had to write something about my feelings for example without hearing these sounds i would feel like a thousands of eyes looking at me and judging me, including the negative voice in my head.

But when i hear these noises it's like they make a wall of safety around me and calms my triggers and negative voice inside my head (not real voice lol).

I feel really lucky that my parents don't complain about these sounds because i have them on high volume.

While i am listening i see some pictures i like too. The character of my favorite cartoon.

Have you have interests that are so important to you?