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Growing up lonely and trying to fit in and completely lost myself

Chris

Hi,

Anyone else grew up trying to fit in throughout their lives to the point where you have lost your self and dont accept yourself anymore?

I am aged 32 and have had alot of different jobs and never made friends with anyone. i have always tried to fit in and changed myself so i can be accpeted in society and felt like i have lived in a gold fish tank my whole life. the effects of this is not great as i really hate myself and hate people who do not understand me or accept me. as they trigger me. I  struggle to live in this mad world and search for acceptance try to get people to understand me, its also impacted my mental health so much on top of other things thats caused my mental health to be so bad.

Parents

  • Chris,

    I know exactly what you mean, I grew up completely on the outside looking in. As I got older, I tried to fit in and just got ridiculed; the NT world is indeed a difficult place.  I struggled for years, and gradually developed mental health problems, leading to a breakdown, addiction to prescribed meds and not a lot of understanding.

    My ASD diagnosis (quite late in life) was a revelation, I just ticked so many of the boxes that I knew it was right. Since then I have read up on the condition and feel happier with myself than I ever have, it's like I now know who I am.

    But I still don't fully understand the world of NTs, there doesn't seem to be anything to read that explains their 'condition'.  Consequently, I have not 'come out' as I'm sure most of them just wouldn't understand.... But I know, and that's what matters the most.

    Ben

Reply

  • Chris,

    I know exactly what you mean, I grew up completely on the outside looking in. As I got older, I tried to fit in and just got ridiculed; the NT world is indeed a difficult place.  I struggled for years, and gradually developed mental health problems, leading to a breakdown, addiction to prescribed meds and not a lot of understanding.

    My ASD diagnosis (quite late in life) was a revelation, I just ticked so many of the boxes that I knew it was right. Since then I have read up on the condition and feel happier with myself than I ever have, it's like I now know who I am.

    But I still don't fully understand the world of NTs, there doesn't seem to be anything to read that explains their 'condition'.  Consequently, I have not 'come out' as I'm sure most of them just wouldn't understand.... But I know, and that's what matters the most.

    Ben

Children
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